'Tis the Violet Flame which Lights the Path
I am talking to you.
You whose heart has been smashed into a million tiny pieces, and you who has been shamed and humiliated and loathed. You whose life has been turned inside, out and upside, down and you who feels like he has been owned. You who has hidden her light so as to meld with the darkness, and you who has fought until your fingers hurt and your soul bled.
I am talking to you, the ones who fight on everyday, against an enemy who you cannot conquer, and a foe who seems impossible. It is you. You are the Warrior, the one who was chosen to walk the path of unease, and the path of the impossibly impossible way. You are the Warrior, the one who chose the battle and the war and you who ran headlong into the fracas and you, ultimately you who comes out the victor each time.
NEVER forget your place in the Universe. It is an important place, yours is, and it is a place that only you can fill. You, who has cried through blackened eyes and a bruised soul, who has scaled the mountain and tumbled down it only to pick yourself up and start right back up the mountain again. It is you. You are who makes you the fighter, of injustices placed upon those of us, like me, like you, who have only been seen at our weakest point.
What others do not realize, what they cannot see is the Warrior who you really are. You fall, and you get back up. You cry, and then you stop to wipe the tears, and through the blurred vision which is born through the pain, you battle on, not worrying about who it is who will see you, and not interested in much else than your place in life, which is that of the Warrior, and this, my Love, is the Warrior's Path upon which you trek.
It is the Path lighted by you, for you are the Violet Flame come to life, and you are the breath and the life that is the spark of creation, and the spark that is given to the raging fire which glows purple and hotter than the blueness that was the pain which beat heavily in your heart and soul, and all the while, you knew...you knew then what you know now, and what you know now is that which you must know, for this is the Path you chose and for which you were chosen.
You have fought and won, and you have fought and lost, but never did you quit. You never ever gave up the fight, no matter what.
You are the Violet Flame. You are the Warrior whose path is lighted by your own brightness, your own light...
ROX
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Your quiet strength
"Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5)
Help The Sisterhood Of The Soul tell the world that Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse are the reasons that we have so much violence in our communities. Violence at home breeds violence in our communities. Please visit, "like" and "share" the PROJECT:Shades page on Facebook.
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There is a lot that is said in terms of people just not thinking that being a quiet yet strong person is somehow not the absolute picture of what is truth in strength.
What anyone goes through causes them to build themselves from the inside, out. It is from the inside, out that the most damages that have been done can also be undone. It is not that you were ever weak, because meekness is not weakness. Being meek has been given the worst verbiage that it will take a whole lifetime for anyone to rearrange the thoughts in another person's head to maybe make it a lot easier for someone who has survived certain atrocities in their own life enough to realize that it was never that they were, that you were, that we are, weak, because the dictionary's definition of "meek" is written as "...characterized by patience and long-suffering..." (Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus, 2006).
Blessed are those of us who never allowed the fire within to go out, no matter how many times people came along and into our lives and specifically tried to make it believable that what anyone has ever gone through was somehow not meant, was somehow not something that would turn them into this polished jewel that they have become.
Blessed are those who, battle scarred an war-torn, in their meek and physically weakened or ailing state, for theirs is the entire Universe.
Blessed are those who have had their hearts broken, their dreams crushed, their very Spirits trampled by the things that collectively make us all want to cry, all want to rage in an outward manner, all want to point a finger at those who should have and likely knew better. Blessed are those who have little, because their strength is much. Blessed are those whose only mission in life is to be at peace with the world in which they find themselves, even if that world is at odds with itself.
Blessed are those who find themselves choosing between here and there, now and then, up and down, left or right, because it is in their indecision that they will find their direction in life, their way, the Path upon which they must travel.
Blessed are those who are the pariah, the ones who Love and whose Love is not the one that is readily accepted, even now, when there is no reason for hatred for those who are not like everyone else. The truth is that everyone else is wrong, but that you Love without fear and without reservation is a testament to the meekness that you had forced upon you, the quietness that made you a slave unto the masses, even if only to keep yourself safe from the wolves which chose to prey on your Soul and make you pay for their own quiet sins, the very same ones that you were willing to let know were yours, and the very ones that you were not ever required to make amends for.
Blessed are those who have been beaten down, who have been the target of people who should have known better, and who now cannot undo what has been done and who cannot make things right because the only way to make them right is to make them right with the people who said person who was attacked has, without choice, left behind.
Blessed are those who are called "strange," "weird," "not right in the mind," "crazy," because it is these very ones who are the creators among us, the ones who have always dealt with the crushing blows by a societal orderliness which only allows us to color "inside the lines," when creativity is not about staying in line with what is expected. Creativity is about creating. Creativity is the life blood of EVERYTHING and it is those who are not very creative who seem to think that what people like the weirdos and the artists and the poets and the musicians are somehow just not right in the mind. It is not that we create that makes them worry about us, call us strange and useless, but is, instead, the threat that creativity and the creation of reality rests in the hearts, minds, and hands of people like me.
Blessed are all of those of us on this planet who have been beaten down emotionally, who have had the luck as well as the misfortune of having had to deal with bullies, haters and mean people, because it is the experiences we have had with them that took us from being akin to coal, which is useful, to a sparkling gem, which is priceless.
Blessed are all of those of us who have suffered in what the world deems as weakness. Being meek is not just something given. It is earned. You earned it. You went through hell.
You survived.
Blessed are the meek, for it is not only the world in which we live that they will inherit, but the very Universe, as well.
I Love You All !
ROX
Help The Sisterhood Of The Soul tell the world that Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse are the reasons that we have so much violence in our communities. Violence at home breeds violence in our communities. Please visit, "like" and "share" the PROJECT:Shades page on Facebook.
Follow me on Twitter
Email Me
Operation SoulShine and The Scott Miks Foundation
Thursday, October 10, 2013
The Violet Flame
You are the representation of The Violet Flame
When I started this blog it was filled with a lot of angry energy. If you went backwards to the beginning of it, you would notice that over time, as much as I have evolved, so has this blog. It went from confessional, to testimonial, to venting and ranting, to silence and now, to this.
This would be what my version, perhaps my interpretation of what The Violet Flame is.
It is the Voice that no one but you can hear, and not with your ears, but with your Soul, and is the part of you that is never accusatory, does nothing to make you hurt. Will not ever abandon you or leave you with no means of Soul survival.
You are the Violet Flame, are the very Fire in The Belly of The All That Is. It is because of your One Light that is added to all of the rest of the Light in the Universe that there are people who share air with us all and who need us to be that Light, that Voice in the distance, the one lone voice in the wilderness that is Life.
It is You, You Who has battled the ghosts from the past, the ugliness of right this moment, and the fear of the future, who has bothered to care, not only about others, but about yourself that has made it so that you would be able to shine brightly in the dimness that is confusion, that is all of the pain illuminated within you. While it was that you believed that the illumination of your Soul was the glaring light from shame, it wasn't.
It was that the fire burned hot enough within to make it known to you that indeed, You Are the Violet Flame.
When you thought and believed that the madness would never end, there you were, in the mirror, looking back at yourself through the windows of the Soul that are the eyes and through the grief that was brought to you through a "happier means," or at least what was supposed to be, at the very least, happy. Regardless, you went through all of that so that you could be here, right now, to find out that indeed, it was not that someone stamped out your fire, but that it was embers which never went out, and the embers that continued to be the thing that you hoped for, because within the energy that was the heat of the fire in manifest through the embers that could be called your will, your strength and your Truth of Being, you are here, you are now, and you are really and truly the manifestation of what is The Violet Flame.
It was the broken heart that you thought would never heal that brought out of you the energy that is The Violet Flame, and it was the crushed Spirit and weary Soul within you that made you take notice, not of who you were not and never were, but who you know and what you know you have never not been, and you have never not been a shining example of Love, of patience, of the ability to Love, even to the point where it was unreasonable or even safe for you. You stayed, not because of anything other than the fear that was there. The fear was real. The weakness, real.
Yet, so, too, were the embers which remained to glow within you, was the energy that was the Warrior within, the one who would remain and battle for you and in your place. Her face was the same as yours, but you were not this person who someone else told you that you were. You were, instead, a Strong One in Manifest. You needed to polish your shield and sharpen your weapons, for yours was not the battle that was outside of you only, but also within. It was within where the lies were forced to be the truth that you never believed, and it was the dull ache that you kept alive within and that prodded you on and on, to glow into the Forever that is the Universe, the Universe that has always been your Home.
You have nothing to fear, and no need to be worried that you are not every bit as wonderfully glowing as you have been told you are.
You are The Violet Flame....and You wear it well !!
Aloha ...I Love You All !
ROX
Help The Sisterhood Of The Soul tell the world that Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse are the reasons that we have so much violence in our communities. Violence at home breeds violence in our communities. Please visit, "like" and "share" the PROJECT:Shades page on Facebook.
Follow me on Twitter
Email Me
Operation SoulShine and The Scott Miks Foundation
When I started this blog it was filled with a lot of angry energy. If you went backwards to the beginning of it, you would notice that over time, as much as I have evolved, so has this blog. It went from confessional, to testimonial, to venting and ranting, to silence and now, to this.
This would be what my version, perhaps my interpretation of what The Violet Flame is.
It is the Voice that no one but you can hear, and not with your ears, but with your Soul, and is the part of you that is never accusatory, does nothing to make you hurt. Will not ever abandon you or leave you with no means of Soul survival.
You are the Violet Flame, are the very Fire in The Belly of The All That Is. It is because of your One Light that is added to all of the rest of the Light in the Universe that there are people who share air with us all and who need us to be that Light, that Voice in the distance, the one lone voice in the wilderness that is Life.
It is You, You Who has battled the ghosts from the past, the ugliness of right this moment, and the fear of the future, who has bothered to care, not only about others, but about yourself that has made it so that you would be able to shine brightly in the dimness that is confusion, that is all of the pain illuminated within you. While it was that you believed that the illumination of your Soul was the glaring light from shame, it wasn't.
It was that the fire burned hot enough within to make it known to you that indeed, You Are the Violet Flame.
When you thought and believed that the madness would never end, there you were, in the mirror, looking back at yourself through the windows of the Soul that are the eyes and through the grief that was brought to you through a "happier means," or at least what was supposed to be, at the very least, happy. Regardless, you went through all of that so that you could be here, right now, to find out that indeed, it was not that someone stamped out your fire, but that it was embers which never went out, and the embers that continued to be the thing that you hoped for, because within the energy that was the heat of the fire in manifest through the embers that could be called your will, your strength and your Truth of Being, you are here, you are now, and you are really and truly the manifestation of what is The Violet Flame.
It was the broken heart that you thought would never heal that brought out of you the energy that is The Violet Flame, and it was the crushed Spirit and weary Soul within you that made you take notice, not of who you were not and never were, but who you know and what you know you have never not been, and you have never not been a shining example of Love, of patience, of the ability to Love, even to the point where it was unreasonable or even safe for you. You stayed, not because of anything other than the fear that was there. The fear was real. The weakness, real.
Yet, so, too, were the embers which remained to glow within you, was the energy that was the Warrior within, the one who would remain and battle for you and in your place. Her face was the same as yours, but you were not this person who someone else told you that you were. You were, instead, a Strong One in Manifest. You needed to polish your shield and sharpen your weapons, for yours was not the battle that was outside of you only, but also within. It was within where the lies were forced to be the truth that you never believed, and it was the dull ache that you kept alive within and that prodded you on and on, to glow into the Forever that is the Universe, the Universe that has always been your Home.
You have nothing to fear, and no need to be worried that you are not every bit as wonderfully glowing as you have been told you are.
You are The Violet Flame....and You wear it well !!
Aloha ...I Love You All !
ROX
Help The Sisterhood Of The Soul tell the world that Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse are the reasons that we have so much violence in our communities. Violence at home breeds violence in our communities. Please visit, "like" and "share" the PROJECT:Shades page on Facebook.
Follow me on Twitter
Email Me
Operation SoulShine and The Scott Miks Foundation
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Your tears are not for anyone else but YOU
"I Know You got more Tears to share, Babe..." (Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby")
It is not time right now to cry for anything other than that we are, collectively, not very comfortable...but the thing is...well, just read it...yeesh!
Well now...let's see what we have here, shall we? There are a whole lot of us on this planet right now who are knowing well what the tears are all about, what the hurting is meant for, and what the lesson is at the end, and we know this because it is our job, literally for some of us (y'all know who you are) as Light Workers to know it. We are not here for the purpose of breaking your hearts and then walking away. Our purpose is to make all those things that you are just not seeing as your lesson make sense. So, be ass hurt if you care to, because it is not as though we already have not dealt with all of our charges' tears, anger, venom, the feeling that we are, somehow, the ones who you need to strike out at. We are not.
In fact, no one is.
And here we go again, one more time (I cannot believe I actually have to go there but here we go...and really, I do not give two shits about what this says to you. You can take it as you like. Eventually, you will get it, we hope...yes, we...)
You are meant to cry. Yup. You read it right. I said it. Now deal with it. You, yourselves have brought to your own life these lessons, and they are not lessons in how to lose, but how to be strong. They are not lessons that you, yourself, prior to your incarnation to this consciousness, did not ask for. That's right - you asked for these things to come to you, and no, you were not given any kind of warning (you weren't supposed to be able to prepare for them...that is why they are called LESSONS and it is all called LEARNING...YEESH), and here you are now in the here and the Now and you are just beside yourself. I promise, I know what you are feeling (some of you literally) and I know that it is tough, but I also know that there are a lot of things going on in all of our lives that call for us to evolve to the next level of awareness, and that there are some of us on this planet who are just not able, or at least believe that you are not able, to deal with the pain.
Deal with it
We are never sent to this lifetime without some sort of agenda. We are not here to remain as we are, unpolished and with all of these dings and dents. We cannot think about what it is that we want to believe is lost for us. The truth is that sometimes the things that we hang on to and the things and people that we want to believe make us who we are may very well be the things and the people who are causing us not to grow. Yes, baby dolls, I know...growing is painful, but it is meant to be that way, because if it ain't painful, we won't learn a god damned thing.
It is meant, like when a child grows physically, to suck. It is supposed to suck. (okay, so some lessons are actually not sucky but you get the idea, I hope)You are not supposed to stay in the manifestation that you are in right now. There is nothing cool about people running around in circles, nothing cool about people behaving as the biblical dogs who return to their vomit hoping that no one sees it. I am telling you NOW that we see it...we ALL see it, and whether it is that you believe that we see it, and no matter what sort of things you think you are going to do to avoid being seen for real, always, we know. Healers, Shaman, Kahuna, Priestesses, Ministers, Teachers...Light Workers KNOW, not only what all this crap is about, but more, that the resistance that a lot of folks are putting up right now is what is killing your energy right now, and on behalf of all of my fellow professional weirdos, I am not even ASKING that you all pull your heads out of your asses, but I am asking you that you at least take a look around there, right there where it should only be an exit, take a whiff and try hard to see in the dark...
Can't do it, can you?
Hell No! You cannot see in the darkness...so please, pull your heads out...like, yesterday
Nope. There ain't any way that I am talking to ONE person, but to the entirety of the whole of people who believe that they do not have to do the work involved in evolving to your own Self. The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. Let me stress that again, okay?
The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. The tears that you are crying are not anyone else's business, fault, making. They are evidence that your soul is exhausted, that you have come to this place that really, no one wants to be at, because being right here and right now sucks ass. I get it. It hurts too much. It is painful. It is not what you thought you would ever have to deal with, because in EVERYONE'S heads who are smack in the middle of the throes of the hurt is also the thought that someone else caused this. Right there in the middle of your mind you are angry, and in the middle of your soul, you are hurting, and the little kid who lives inside of the soul is confused. When that kid is confused there is only one parent, and that parent is YOU, and when you hang on to things and ways of being that are not the right things or ways of being, that kid within tells you.
The kid within is who you are trying to appease, but that is not what the kid within needs. The kid within needs the parent within to soothe it, to tell him or her that all is as it is meant to be at the moment. The kid within needs us to wake up, show it the way, not make the pain go away, at least not the way that any one of us would believe that is the best way. At the moment, the best way that any of us can think of is the fastest way, is the easiest way, but neither of those two things are the truth.
Neither the pain nor the lesson will go away.
The more we resist, the harder it becomes, because we want to believe that what it is that we have here as the pain that we don't want is something that is temporary - it is, but if you keep hanging on to things you know ain't there for you to learn from anymore, it won't be, and it will be your choosing that will keep it this way. Let me tell you this much, and this is coming from someone who, at one time in her life, may have appeared to "have it all"...nice house at a private golf course community...5 cars- and I owned them all...a golf cart...new one every other year...friends...a great little dance company. By any and all appearances, truly, to some people, I "had it all," but the reality is that I have none of those things right now (okay, the real friends who I met and Loved up in the desert I still have those people in my life...Love You!), and the truth is that really, I am glad for it. My things, my life, and who I thought I was were what controlled me. These days, even now as I am in the middle of a LOT OF CRAP I WOULD RATHER NOT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF, I am better off, even without everything that I thought I needed. The thought was that I would never have to do things that suck because I 'had it all." The thought was that even though I was married to this ...person...who gave me everything ...THING...that I wanted, the one thing that he could never give to me was his original self, because to that guy his original self was a broke ass when in reality his broke ass was more like a broken soul. When the soul is broken the only thing that anyone can do is go through the painful process of healing.
I learned well that I can do this life thing on my own. Yes, I have a couple of really great friends, and I have amazing spirit students, and I love them all. I might not be able to tend to them all every single day, but I asked for them to be here, so that my own message, the ones that I get directly from the great beyond, could be imparted, not only like this (in writing) but also through their example of them being EXACTLY who they are and who they are meant to be. Once it was that I started to let go of things (I promise...it is NOT EASY but SO worth it), I realized that the reason that I hurt so freakin' much was because of ME. I hurt so much because I was allowing what happened to me that came from other people and situations in my own life to own me, to be the thing that colored my daily life and my entire world.
I had to stop it, had to learn that I was who was and is and has always been in control and NOT what someone else did, said or was to me. When we allow outer forces to decide for us how our manifestations come into being, we let go of our own control of things. The only person who is in control of things is us. Get that much through your thoughts and head right now, and yes, deal with it, because truth is never anything but truth. Sometimes it is a harsh truth. Sometimes it is a truth that makes us happy. ALL THE TIME IT IS THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT, and the truth at the moment is that the pain you feel is going to teach you, one way or another. The pain you feel is rooted in fear, of not being good enough, of not having what you want to believe is yours because of YOU, of doing everything not according to someone else's beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are.
We can no more control other people than we can bother to try to make them see things, literally, through our eyes. It ain't gonna happen. It will never happen that way because sometimes what is going on does not include or involve who we are no matter what. This is a hard lesson, I know, and it is not one that too many of us volunteer for from our own human brain. No, you volunteer LONG before you come into this lifetime. You give yourself to these lessons so that you can grow and be who you are meant to be and NOT who you think you are. That is the Ego telling you that it knows better than your Soul does and NEVER does your Ego know better than your Soul, ever. The reason that it hurts is because the Ego self is telling you that you did it wrong, that you are not right, that the pain is something that you have to push away when in reality the pain is something that you have to welcome and pay attention to, something that is your soul's responsibility (Kuleana). The more you resist it, the bigger the pain, and it gets bigger so you can do something more important that is not only learning or growing...it is so that you no longer, at least in that one area of your life, have to bother with the damned "duh moments" that you do not realize you are having.
No one thinks about it, but when we are hanging on to things that we think will make us feel better, we might actually be hanging on to the things or even the one thing in our lives that is actually hindering who we are and getting in the damned way of our paths and our healing and our lessening of those damned "duh moments."
OK...there it is...I said it, and I meant it, now get out into the big fat world and DEAL WITH IT!
Yeesh !!
...but still, you know it..
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX
Follow me on Twitter
The Sisterhood Of The Soul
Email me
#WhatsYourStory
It is not time right now to cry for anything other than that we are, collectively, not very comfortable...but the thing is...well, just read it...yeesh!
Well now...let's see what we have here, shall we? There are a whole lot of us on this planet right now who are knowing well what the tears are all about, what the hurting is meant for, and what the lesson is at the end, and we know this because it is our job, literally for some of us (y'all know who you are) as Light Workers to know it. We are not here for the purpose of breaking your hearts and then walking away. Our purpose is to make all those things that you are just not seeing as your lesson make sense. So, be ass hurt if you care to, because it is not as though we already have not dealt with all of our charges' tears, anger, venom, the feeling that we are, somehow, the ones who you need to strike out at. We are not.
In fact, no one is.
And here we go again, one more time (I cannot believe I actually have to go there but here we go...and really, I do not give two shits about what this says to you. You can take it as you like. Eventually, you will get it, we hope...yes, we...)
You are meant to cry. Yup. You read it right. I said it. Now deal with it. You, yourselves have brought to your own life these lessons, and they are not lessons in how to lose, but how to be strong. They are not lessons that you, yourself, prior to your incarnation to this consciousness, did not ask for. That's right - you asked for these things to come to you, and no, you were not given any kind of warning (you weren't supposed to be able to prepare for them...that is why they are called LESSONS and it is all called LEARNING...YEESH), and here you are now in the here and the Now and you are just beside yourself. I promise, I know what you are feeling (some of you literally) and I know that it is tough, but I also know that there are a lot of things going on in all of our lives that call for us to evolve to the next level of awareness, and that there are some of us on this planet who are just not able, or at least believe that you are not able, to deal with the pain.
Deal with it
We are never sent to this lifetime without some sort of agenda. We are not here to remain as we are, unpolished and with all of these dings and dents. We cannot think about what it is that we want to believe is lost for us. The truth is that sometimes the things that we hang on to and the things and people that we want to believe make us who we are may very well be the things and the people who are causing us not to grow. Yes, baby dolls, I know...growing is painful, but it is meant to be that way, because if it ain't painful, we won't learn a god damned thing.
It is meant, like when a child grows physically, to suck. It is supposed to suck. (okay, so some lessons are actually not sucky but you get the idea, I hope)You are not supposed to stay in the manifestation that you are in right now. There is nothing cool about people running around in circles, nothing cool about people behaving as the biblical dogs who return to their vomit hoping that no one sees it. I am telling you NOW that we see it...we ALL see it, and whether it is that you believe that we see it, and no matter what sort of things you think you are going to do to avoid being seen for real, always, we know. Healers, Shaman, Kahuna, Priestesses, Ministers, Teachers...Light Workers KNOW, not only what all this crap is about, but more, that the resistance that a lot of folks are putting up right now is what is killing your energy right now, and on behalf of all of my fellow professional weirdos, I am not even ASKING that you all pull your heads out of your asses, but I am asking you that you at least take a look around there, right there where it should only be an exit, take a whiff and try hard to see in the dark...
Can't do it, can you?
Hell No! You cannot see in the darkness...so please, pull your heads out...like, yesterday
Nope. There ain't any way that I am talking to ONE person, but to the entirety of the whole of people who believe that they do not have to do the work involved in evolving to your own Self. The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. Let me stress that again, okay?
The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. The tears that you are crying are not anyone else's business, fault, making. They are evidence that your soul is exhausted, that you have come to this place that really, no one wants to be at, because being right here and right now sucks ass. I get it. It hurts too much. It is painful. It is not what you thought you would ever have to deal with, because in EVERYONE'S heads who are smack in the middle of the throes of the hurt is also the thought that someone else caused this. Right there in the middle of your mind you are angry, and in the middle of your soul, you are hurting, and the little kid who lives inside of the soul is confused. When that kid is confused there is only one parent, and that parent is YOU, and when you hang on to things and ways of being that are not the right things or ways of being, that kid within tells you.
The kid within is who you are trying to appease, but that is not what the kid within needs. The kid within needs the parent within to soothe it, to tell him or her that all is as it is meant to be at the moment. The kid within needs us to wake up, show it the way, not make the pain go away, at least not the way that any one of us would believe that is the best way. At the moment, the best way that any of us can think of is the fastest way, is the easiest way, but neither of those two things are the truth.
Neither the pain nor the lesson will go away.
The more we resist, the harder it becomes, because we want to believe that what it is that we have here as the pain that we don't want is something that is temporary - it is, but if you keep hanging on to things you know ain't there for you to learn from anymore, it won't be, and it will be your choosing that will keep it this way. Let me tell you this much, and this is coming from someone who, at one time in her life, may have appeared to "have it all"...nice house at a private golf course community...5 cars- and I owned them all...a golf cart...new one every other year...friends...a great little dance company. By any and all appearances, truly, to some people, I "had it all," but the reality is that I have none of those things right now (okay, the real friends who I met and Loved up in the desert I still have those people in my life...Love You!), and the truth is that really, I am glad for it. My things, my life, and who I thought I was were what controlled me. These days, even now as I am in the middle of a LOT OF CRAP I WOULD RATHER NOT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF, I am better off, even without everything that I thought I needed. The thought was that I would never have to do things that suck because I 'had it all." The thought was that even though I was married to this ...person...who gave me everything ...THING...that I wanted, the one thing that he could never give to me was his original self, because to that guy his original self was a broke ass when in reality his broke ass was more like a broken soul. When the soul is broken the only thing that anyone can do is go through the painful process of healing.
I learned well that I can do this life thing on my own. Yes, I have a couple of really great friends, and I have amazing spirit students, and I love them all. I might not be able to tend to them all every single day, but I asked for them to be here, so that my own message, the ones that I get directly from the great beyond, could be imparted, not only like this (in writing) but also through their example of them being EXACTLY who they are and who they are meant to be. Once it was that I started to let go of things (I promise...it is NOT EASY but SO worth it), I realized that the reason that I hurt so freakin' much was because of ME. I hurt so much because I was allowing what happened to me that came from other people and situations in my own life to own me, to be the thing that colored my daily life and my entire world.
I had to stop it, had to learn that I was who was and is and has always been in control and NOT what someone else did, said or was to me. When we allow outer forces to decide for us how our manifestations come into being, we let go of our own control of things. The only person who is in control of things is us. Get that much through your thoughts and head right now, and yes, deal with it, because truth is never anything but truth. Sometimes it is a harsh truth. Sometimes it is a truth that makes us happy. ALL THE TIME IT IS THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT, and the truth at the moment is that the pain you feel is going to teach you, one way or another. The pain you feel is rooted in fear, of not being good enough, of not having what you want to believe is yours because of YOU, of doing everything not according to someone else's beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are.
We can no more control other people than we can bother to try to make them see things, literally, through our eyes. It ain't gonna happen. It will never happen that way because sometimes what is going on does not include or involve who we are no matter what. This is a hard lesson, I know, and it is not one that too many of us volunteer for from our own human brain. No, you volunteer LONG before you come into this lifetime. You give yourself to these lessons so that you can grow and be who you are meant to be and NOT who you think you are. That is the Ego telling you that it knows better than your Soul does and NEVER does your Ego know better than your Soul, ever. The reason that it hurts is because the Ego self is telling you that you did it wrong, that you are not right, that the pain is something that you have to push away when in reality the pain is something that you have to welcome and pay attention to, something that is your soul's responsibility (Kuleana). The more you resist it, the bigger the pain, and it gets bigger so you can do something more important that is not only learning or growing...it is so that you no longer, at least in that one area of your life, have to bother with the damned "duh moments" that you do not realize you are having.
No one thinks about it, but when we are hanging on to things that we think will make us feel better, we might actually be hanging on to the things or even the one thing in our lives that is actually hindering who we are and getting in the damned way of our paths and our healing and our lessening of those damned "duh moments."
OK...there it is...I said it, and I meant it, now get out into the big fat world and DEAL WITH IT!
Yeesh !!
...but still, you know it..
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX
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Friday, September 20, 2013
...of big fat hairy black arachnids and tiny little white dimpled balls....
Spiders and Golf are not the same, and neither is the fear behind them both
There is no doubt about it - I cannot stand spiders. I look at them, consider them to be one of my Animal Totems (because that is what that particular fear is all about), but outside of that much, I am scared of them. Okay, maybe not all of them. Just the ones that can kill you if they happen to bite you. Me and Spiders are far-away friends, to say the very least.
Then there is that fear that I have which is produced in me when I think about the one sport that I totally understand, totally am "into," and can be considered as my most favorite sport of all - the Game of Golf. Yes. Me. I Love Golf. I always have. I lived at a private resort for years, and there was a golf course - 27 hole Ted Robinson course even, gorgeous in every way that a golf course in the middle of the desert could be, given the area and the amount of play it gets. I love this game. I love the pageantry. I love that you seriously have to be dressed in actual clothes that are actually beautiful to look at in terms of "sports equipment." (I am sure that I don't have to explain it...I mean really...look at how great Tiger Woods looks when he is playing a tourney, or how awesome Ricky Fowler looks...even my "anti-favorite" - Mr. Mickelson....I just love this game!) Everything about the game of Golf, from a distance, has my name and my energy written all over it.
BUT, I am scared to death to play golf. No, this doesn't mean that I will not try, because I try all the time. It means that until I can actually slam the hell out of that stupid little white ball and actually connect club head-to-ball without the ball ending up somehow behind me, I fear the game of golf. I fear it because out of everything that I am told that I am very good at, I know that this game will not be one of those things, at least not right away. Yes...stop....I know...."your fault...you lived at a golf course for almost a decade and never picked up a club as much as you should have..." Yes, I know it. I cannot make up the excuse that I was too busy teaching hula (okay, maybe I can... but still). I cannot say that I couldn't afford to learn because the golf amenities were free to residents and homeowners.
I have no excuse, at all. I cannot sit here and tell anyone that I didn't have the opportunity, or that no one wanted to play with me (...hello, Kim....shut up lol...). I have no excuse, but I have a reason, even though at this point in time I realize that really is the most ridiculous reason anyone has ever had.
The reason that I almost refused to learn to play is that there were other people there at the course, at the range, and those other people would be watching me totally suck at the game of golf. Golf requires concentration. If I am creating a new hula, I can concentrate. If I am composing a piece of writing for someone, I can concentrate. If I am doing a whole lot of other things that require concentration, I can deal with it. But when it comes to something where I am out in the open and it is something that I essentially know I can do and that I know I can do it because I was taught a whole lot of golf, I will hesitate. It is the hesitation brought about by the Ego part of me that won't allow me to drop my guard, be my silly self, and get my ass to at least the range with my golfer friends so that they and my boy can teach me better about this game I already know so very much about.
No...no no no no no no....I am a chicken turd. Not even a little one. A spider I can grab something long and skinny and poke it til it runs away. I won't look like anything more than a very chick-like chick when it comes to that stupid little 8-legged monster. But GOLF? I LOVE the game...but I am afraid to look really bad, bad enough to be distracted and keep my eyes not where they belong, which is on that stupid little white ball that, just like an actual golfer knows, can make you crazy. How silly it is for me to allow something that I do not use regularly make me afraid of it. I am afraid to look like I don't know what I am doing, even though I sort of do. I am scared that my real level of distraction and my ability to lose my concentration when it comes to things "sport" because when I was a kid, my mother sent me to hula, not sports. Hula, not softball. Hula, not soccer. Hula....and bummer, but not golf. Not even to learn with her father, a man who was a magnificent participant in the most beautiful game these eyes have even had the opportunity to NOT learn to play when the time and the everything that I needed were at my disposal.
It is not really the fear of learning as much as it is the fear of not being great a something right away. And no tsk tsking me...we all do it. All of us are afraid to find out that, based on some weird past experience with any failure at all and based on the reaction given to us by those watching, we are not as cool as we think we are, even though we indeed are that cool in reality. In reality no one who does not know us really cares about if we succeed or fail, and no one cares if we look foolish doing a thing or not unless it somehow will impact them personally. This is not my rule. This is just how it is. We cannot be perfect at everything. Some people are afraid to fall in love because of the past things that they went through in that energy in the past. Some people are scared to death of getting a promotion at work, because then they will have to live up to that promotion's expectations. Some folks are scared of letting go of something, because for some reason they might feel as though that thing has the power to make or to break them and their lives. This is not the truth.
There is no truth in not trying. Read that again. There is no truth in not trying - in not trying to get past your fears about things that are really very silly. I will say it now - I agree with anyone who would believe and have the opinion that my fear of failing at the game I love so much to watch is ridiculous. I agree that I should just get on out there and hit some of those dimpled white balls, and I agree that I should at least take my son and my friend up of their offer on some golf lessons, and I agree that there are things which are contained in the energy that is the fear that I have about looking foolish if I miss that stupid ball that anyone would be afraid of, but that there really and inherently is nothing for me to fear. The fear is ego based. It is the part of me that tells me that I am gonna look funny swinging that club, and it is the ego within me telling me that they're - whoever they are - are going to point and laugh and tell me that I swing looks like crap.
Of course it looks like crap! In fact, it is going to look like crap until I have perfected it, and I cannot perfect it if my fear of looking like it needs perfecting is so big that I cannot get past being just a spectator. And I promise you that there is one thing that I want to do, and I want to do this more than I want to do a lot of other things - that one thing is that I wanna learn to play golf, but in order to do that I have to do like I do the spiders that I am equally and justifiably afraid of -spiders, because some of them can kill a person - and poke it with a stick until it crawls away from me and stays its distance.
When we are scared to try something that we know we want to try but the fear inside of us stops us, we know that the Ego is alive and well within us enough to stop us from enjoying what it is that we so dearly want. As I mentioned already, I want to play golf. I have always wanted to. There are friends who ask me all the time why, if I have all this equipment, and have all these friends willing to teach me, and more, if my own son is up my okole about him teaching me while he has time to, am I still afraid?
Because....there are some things that you cannot hide behind an excuse for, such as singing way out of tune at a party because you were drunk (done it...not a problem, do it all the time), or, falling flat on your face while performing in front of a crowd in excess of 1000 people or more (again, done it...and yes, dancing hula...don't ask). Yet, those are things that a lot of people are good at and in my case at least one of those two things is the truth of me. I am not scared to screw up during a hula performance, because I have screwed up so many times over the 40 years of my life that I have danced that, to screw up is sometimes needed. But when it comes to something that I want to do but have no actual talent for it (yet)?
The only way that I am going to get past this fear of screwing up this game I love so much is to actually get out there with my boys and learn....
I plan on missing the ball at least 400 times before I give up and get tired of looking ridiculous, and that will be on the first time out and in the real.
The point is not that I love golf, or that I fear spiders, or screwing up and looking foolish.
The point is to get out there, screw up, and learn....forget about what happened in the past and how you screwed up in the past - the future is not back there and it is not even here yet! Screw up now so that you can say that at least you tried....
Again...
Get out there.
Screw up.
Learn!
Duh!
I Love You All !
ROX
@ReverendRoxie22
The Sisterhood of The Soul
Email me!
There is no doubt about it - I cannot stand spiders. I look at them, consider them to be one of my Animal Totems (because that is what that particular fear is all about), but outside of that much, I am scared of them. Okay, maybe not all of them. Just the ones that can kill you if they happen to bite you. Me and Spiders are far-away friends, to say the very least.
Then there is that fear that I have which is produced in me when I think about the one sport that I totally understand, totally am "into," and can be considered as my most favorite sport of all - the Game of Golf. Yes. Me. I Love Golf. I always have. I lived at a private resort for years, and there was a golf course - 27 hole Ted Robinson course even, gorgeous in every way that a golf course in the middle of the desert could be, given the area and the amount of play it gets. I love this game. I love the pageantry. I love that you seriously have to be dressed in actual clothes that are actually beautiful to look at in terms of "sports equipment." (I am sure that I don't have to explain it...I mean really...look at how great Tiger Woods looks when he is playing a tourney, or how awesome Ricky Fowler looks...even my "anti-favorite" - Mr. Mickelson....I just love this game!) Everything about the game of Golf, from a distance, has my name and my energy written all over it.
BUT, I am scared to death to play golf. No, this doesn't mean that I will not try, because I try all the time. It means that until I can actually slam the hell out of that stupid little white ball and actually connect club head-to-ball without the ball ending up somehow behind me, I fear the game of golf. I fear it because out of everything that I am told that I am very good at, I know that this game will not be one of those things, at least not right away. Yes...stop....I know...."your fault...you lived at a golf course for almost a decade and never picked up a club as much as you should have..." Yes, I know it. I cannot make up the excuse that I was too busy teaching hula (okay, maybe I can... but still). I cannot say that I couldn't afford to learn because the golf amenities were free to residents and homeowners.
I have no excuse, at all. I cannot sit here and tell anyone that I didn't have the opportunity, or that no one wanted to play with me (...hello, Kim....shut up lol...). I have no excuse, but I have a reason, even though at this point in time I realize that really is the most ridiculous reason anyone has ever had.
The reason that I almost refused to learn to play is that there were other people there at the course, at the range, and those other people would be watching me totally suck at the game of golf. Golf requires concentration. If I am creating a new hula, I can concentrate. If I am composing a piece of writing for someone, I can concentrate. If I am doing a whole lot of other things that require concentration, I can deal with it. But when it comes to something where I am out in the open and it is something that I essentially know I can do and that I know I can do it because I was taught a whole lot of golf, I will hesitate. It is the hesitation brought about by the Ego part of me that won't allow me to drop my guard, be my silly self, and get my ass to at least the range with my golfer friends so that they and my boy can teach me better about this game I already know so very much about.
No...no no no no no no....I am a chicken turd. Not even a little one. A spider I can grab something long and skinny and poke it til it runs away. I won't look like anything more than a very chick-like chick when it comes to that stupid little 8-legged monster. But GOLF? I LOVE the game...but I am afraid to look really bad, bad enough to be distracted and keep my eyes not where they belong, which is on that stupid little white ball that, just like an actual golfer knows, can make you crazy. How silly it is for me to allow something that I do not use regularly make me afraid of it. I am afraid to look like I don't know what I am doing, even though I sort of do. I am scared that my real level of distraction and my ability to lose my concentration when it comes to things "sport" because when I was a kid, my mother sent me to hula, not sports. Hula, not softball. Hula, not soccer. Hula....and bummer, but not golf. Not even to learn with her father, a man who was a magnificent participant in the most beautiful game these eyes have even had the opportunity to NOT learn to play when the time and the everything that I needed were at my disposal.
It is not really the fear of learning as much as it is the fear of not being great a something right away. And no tsk tsking me...we all do it. All of us are afraid to find out that, based on some weird past experience with any failure at all and based on the reaction given to us by those watching, we are not as cool as we think we are, even though we indeed are that cool in reality. In reality no one who does not know us really cares about if we succeed or fail, and no one cares if we look foolish doing a thing or not unless it somehow will impact them personally. This is not my rule. This is just how it is. We cannot be perfect at everything. Some people are afraid to fall in love because of the past things that they went through in that energy in the past. Some people are scared to death of getting a promotion at work, because then they will have to live up to that promotion's expectations. Some folks are scared of letting go of something, because for some reason they might feel as though that thing has the power to make or to break them and their lives. This is not the truth.
There is no truth in not trying. Read that again. There is no truth in not trying - in not trying to get past your fears about things that are really very silly. I will say it now - I agree with anyone who would believe and have the opinion that my fear of failing at the game I love so much to watch is ridiculous. I agree that I should just get on out there and hit some of those dimpled white balls, and I agree that I should at least take my son and my friend up of their offer on some golf lessons, and I agree that there are things which are contained in the energy that is the fear that I have about looking foolish if I miss that stupid ball that anyone would be afraid of, but that there really and inherently is nothing for me to fear. The fear is ego based. It is the part of me that tells me that I am gonna look funny swinging that club, and it is the ego within me telling me that they're - whoever they are - are going to point and laugh and tell me that I swing looks like crap.
Of course it looks like crap! In fact, it is going to look like crap until I have perfected it, and I cannot perfect it if my fear of looking like it needs perfecting is so big that I cannot get past being just a spectator. And I promise you that there is one thing that I want to do, and I want to do this more than I want to do a lot of other things - that one thing is that I wanna learn to play golf, but in order to do that I have to do like I do the spiders that I am equally and justifiably afraid of -spiders, because some of them can kill a person - and poke it with a stick until it crawls away from me and stays its distance.
When we are scared to try something that we know we want to try but the fear inside of us stops us, we know that the Ego is alive and well within us enough to stop us from enjoying what it is that we so dearly want. As I mentioned already, I want to play golf. I have always wanted to. There are friends who ask me all the time why, if I have all this equipment, and have all these friends willing to teach me, and more, if my own son is up my okole about him teaching me while he has time to, am I still afraid?
Because....there are some things that you cannot hide behind an excuse for, such as singing way out of tune at a party because you were drunk (done it...not a problem, do it all the time), or, falling flat on your face while performing in front of a crowd in excess of 1000 people or more (again, done it...and yes, dancing hula...don't ask). Yet, those are things that a lot of people are good at and in my case at least one of those two things is the truth of me. I am not scared to screw up during a hula performance, because I have screwed up so many times over the 40 years of my life that I have danced that, to screw up is sometimes needed. But when it comes to something that I want to do but have no actual talent for it (yet)?
The only way that I am going to get past this fear of screwing up this game I love so much is to actually get out there with my boys and learn....
I plan on missing the ball at least 400 times before I give up and get tired of looking ridiculous, and that will be on the first time out and in the real.
The point is not that I love golf, or that I fear spiders, or screwing up and looking foolish.
The point is to get out there, screw up, and learn....forget about what happened in the past and how you screwed up in the past - the future is not back there and it is not even here yet! Screw up now so that you can say that at least you tried....
Again...
Get out there.
Screw up.
Learn!
Duh!
I Love You All !
ROX
@ReverendRoxie22
The Sisterhood of The Soul
Email me!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Respect and fear are NOT the same
Respect is something that is always expected...but it shouldn't be...
"Why should it not be just expected, Rox? Isn't that what we were taught as kids...that we have to respect our elders?"
Respect is a very funny thing...and by that I mean that it is peculiar and not hilarious. By that I mean that people who are in their late 30's to early 40's and beyond that age range are a group of people and parents who are teaching our kids to respect but also to be respected. This is not something that people who were raised, at least the majority of us in the generation which I was born, to believe that respect is just a given. It is not a given. In fact, I am a big believer in that if it is meant to just be a given that it should just be given at the time the doctor sees the baby's head - yup...THAT is when respect is a given because it should just BE given to that brand new life. Brand new life is like dangerous animals in the wild. No one would ever, without proper training and without a clue or even a whisper of common sense that we each immediately know upon even first sight of any wild animal that we see in their natural habitat - respect is needed. In the wild where the animals reign supreme and are dearly in charge of the natural order of things, respect is something that cannot be thought about. It must be there. If it is not there, any human who is not more aware of the creature it is confronted with will be hurt, or worse, killed, and worse than that - eaten.
Primal humans, meaning the kind that are brand new to this consciousness, are just as wild as those animals in the wild, and the proper training of that new life comes early on, immediately after it is brought into this lifetime. We would never expect a brand new baby to have what is the majority's thought about respect. It is cute and little and no where near as dangerous as are those animals encountered in the wild, but that new born child could be just like those animals under the right set of wrong circumstances. We all know that children, from the time they are born into this lifetime are just like those wild animals anyway, for no other reason than that we are like them, and they are like us, in more ways than we think we are. This is where today's writing comes into play in that we silly, "civilized" human type people have the ability to reason, and with that energy also comes the ability to still be as primal as we ever were, meaning that we are taught by fear and comfort, and always, one is stronger than the other.
This is where the "right set of wrong circumstances" as far as the human animal is concerned. We are a very dangerous animal. Our ability to reason only makes us more so, because we have the ability to make choices that involve other people. We are met with other people from the moment that we are born, at least in this realm, and in this realm we are given what is called an option. An option is funny, and I teach a whole lot about the difference between a choice and an option. A choice means that one of the choices in front of you is gonna be the only one with a "yes" for an answer, but with an option all of the answers to all of the options in front of you can be "yes" even though not at the moment. This is where a lot of people fail a child, where it is that they want their kids to show respect, but they themselves have no real clue of what respect truly is.
What Respect truly is NOT!
There are a lot of adults who were children who were raised with the energy of fear that the adults in our lives at the time called "Respect." No matter what it was that they used in order to force our respect the way that THEY wanted it, it worked, at least up until now, when a whole lot of us are in the mindset that is trying to repair what went awry with us when it became evident in our reptilian brains that something was not in accordance with the laws of Nature. Somehow, it was confirmed to us that which we already knew for a long time was not right, not okay, and we were, through our souls' suffering and as well, through the generation which followed our own, were tasked with the duty of righting that wrong that was not given to just a few of us, but to us all. We were raised to believe that respect and fearing others is correct, that it is believable that if we are scared to death, that we will not bother to question what it is that we have been told is the truth, and really, it is not the truth.
Fear is NOT respect. To tell us all that we "must fear God" is the biggest, ugliest sin of all, because to a child fear is fear, no matter what. When a child is afraid, he or she knows they are. Of all things to make a child fear, not only Spirit, but the fear that is a child afraid of his or her parents, which is also the fear of disappointing them, of doing things not good enough to please them, which can cause them to tell us that we were not good enough to do something to THEIR specifications ....this is how these people MADE US respect them, and our grandparents as well, because that is where the generation of parents before ours learned how to make us respect, through the use of fear. And it was a fear of things that were not only physical, but also emotional and spiritual as well. To feel like respect and fear are the same thing is very dangerous and causes people to go out into the world and do things and say things that are based in fear rather than in respect.
I hate to sound like I am hating on my 'Aumakua, like I am hating on my Kupuna, but the way that a whole lot of Hawaiian kids are taught as youngsters is the "hit first and ask questions later" type of instilling into kids a forced respect based in fear. This is an act of fear placed on a child by adults who are still listening to the things that the people who, at one time, who, some of them, are not in this awareness that we are anymore, were the adults in the lives of the people who were the adults in our own lives. This is how fear becomes equated with respect, and how this sort of energy is carried down the bloodlines and into the subsequent generations which follow.
What Respect IS
Respecting other people is how we learn to get along in this lifetime, period. Respect, in its Merriam-Webster's definition is as follows:
"...(2) vb 1 : to consider deserving of high regard: ESTEEM 2: to refrain from interfering with another's privacy 3: to have reference to :CONCERN..." (2006, Merriam-Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus, pg 893)
Respect is not fearing anything or anyone, but is displaying the qualities that are that of high regard for others, and our not even thinking to pry into another's private and in-the-soul places where no one should be without some sort of permission, and it is being concerned with the well being of others, and, as well, to be able to have even the tiniest bit of empathy in regards to another's life, choices, being-ness, etc.
This current generation of parents, we have the opportunity and the option to teach our own charges what respect really is. Our children are not scared, at least not like we were. They are not afraid to tell us when they hurt because they are not afraid that their parents are going to tell them to choke back the tears because no one wants to be around a cry baby. Our kids are not afraid to be who they truly are....blue hair...tatted out...piercings....LGBT...because our generation knows what it is like to try to fit into a personality and a spirit that is conforming and that is rigid and just not who or what we are, and is also not who they are.
We teach our own children this Kuleana, this responsibility of the Soul that was handed down to us in its rawness, in its violence, in its pain, and with these things we brought to the world this sense of Respect that is the very truth of us....tats, blue hair, piercings and all, and really, it is a beautiful thing, because it is the truth.
There is never anything essentially wrong with the truth. Respect is Truth. Period.
Respect is not violence handed down with a heaviness of the hand and the weightiness of hurtful words that sting the soul, harm the pride within, crushes the Spirit that is essential to who we are on the inside. Respect is not names called in haste, is not the parental authority that was there and present in our own lives, when we were children, when it was our own Kuleana, unbeknownst to us all, that the lessons we were given that were the evidence that Respect was not meant to harm us was not the actuality of this thing that is vital to healing, is vital to the growth of the Soul within. It takes so very little to do small things, but in their anger, in their misrepresentation of the truth that they were forced to accept by their own Kupuna, they gave us that which they knew not was anything but respect.
To violate a person's sense of self using things that they believe is the truth is wrong. To violate anyone as a means to manipulate and cause harm, even unwittingly, is wrong. To teach fear as respect is dangerous, gives someone a reason to feel as though they somehow are wrong for who and what they are. Our lives were not meant to be lived under the control of other people, namely not those whose lives were lived in fear of disappointing people who were likely and also afraid. It is our place in this Universe to give respect, so that those in our charge will learn it and not fear others.
It is dangerous to the all of humanity to teach fear, because fear makes us act out irrationally, and that is the thing that a lot of people who teach with the crack of the whip rather than the truth as it really is do not understand they are doing. When we teach others who we are, we teach them through reaching them in ways that are not felt physically, but from and with the Spirit and those lessons reach all the way down to the Bones of the Soul.
Teach Respect, and TO respect, rather than to force respect through fear and manipulation.
We must take up our Kuleana, both singularly as well as collectively, and remind ourselves daily about the things that we were taught, that were forced onto us, and whose rules were those set by people, at that time, who were no longer in physical existence. We must stop leaning on the understanding of those who have passed away in terms of fear as respect, and we must force ourselves to step outside of the comfort zone of conformity because if we do not, we will create another generation of people who hurt others, who willingly abuse those they say they love, and all for what?
Respect that is not truly respect, but is fear instead dressed up as what we have been told to believe is Respect.
Respect should be a given, not because it is expected, but because all humans should expect to be respected, period.
If we behave like people tell us to, and what they say is based in fear rather than in Love, we will essentially be as those who brought to us the lessons that were not respect, and were anything but Love.
I Love You All
ROX
@ReverendRoxie22
"Why should it not be just expected, Rox? Isn't that what we were taught as kids...that we have to respect our elders?"
Respect is a very funny thing...and by that I mean that it is peculiar and not hilarious. By that I mean that people who are in their late 30's to early 40's and beyond that age range are a group of people and parents who are teaching our kids to respect but also to be respected. This is not something that people who were raised, at least the majority of us in the generation which I was born, to believe that respect is just a given. It is not a given. In fact, I am a big believer in that if it is meant to just be a given that it should just be given at the time the doctor sees the baby's head - yup...THAT is when respect is a given because it should just BE given to that brand new life. Brand new life is like dangerous animals in the wild. No one would ever, without proper training and without a clue or even a whisper of common sense that we each immediately know upon even first sight of any wild animal that we see in their natural habitat - respect is needed. In the wild where the animals reign supreme and are dearly in charge of the natural order of things, respect is something that cannot be thought about. It must be there. If it is not there, any human who is not more aware of the creature it is confronted with will be hurt, or worse, killed, and worse than that - eaten.
Primal humans, meaning the kind that are brand new to this consciousness, are just as wild as those animals in the wild, and the proper training of that new life comes early on, immediately after it is brought into this lifetime. We would never expect a brand new baby to have what is the majority's thought about respect. It is cute and little and no where near as dangerous as are those animals encountered in the wild, but that new born child could be just like those animals under the right set of wrong circumstances. We all know that children, from the time they are born into this lifetime are just like those wild animals anyway, for no other reason than that we are like them, and they are like us, in more ways than we think we are. This is where today's writing comes into play in that we silly, "civilized" human type people have the ability to reason, and with that energy also comes the ability to still be as primal as we ever were, meaning that we are taught by fear and comfort, and always, one is stronger than the other.
This is where the "right set of wrong circumstances" as far as the human animal is concerned. We are a very dangerous animal. Our ability to reason only makes us more so, because we have the ability to make choices that involve other people. We are met with other people from the moment that we are born, at least in this realm, and in this realm we are given what is called an option. An option is funny, and I teach a whole lot about the difference between a choice and an option. A choice means that one of the choices in front of you is gonna be the only one with a "yes" for an answer, but with an option all of the answers to all of the options in front of you can be "yes" even though not at the moment. This is where a lot of people fail a child, where it is that they want their kids to show respect, but they themselves have no real clue of what respect truly is.
What Respect truly is NOT!
There are a lot of adults who were children who were raised with the energy of fear that the adults in our lives at the time called "Respect." No matter what it was that they used in order to force our respect the way that THEY wanted it, it worked, at least up until now, when a whole lot of us are in the mindset that is trying to repair what went awry with us when it became evident in our reptilian brains that something was not in accordance with the laws of Nature. Somehow, it was confirmed to us that which we already knew for a long time was not right, not okay, and we were, through our souls' suffering and as well, through the generation which followed our own, were tasked with the duty of righting that wrong that was not given to just a few of us, but to us all. We were raised to believe that respect and fearing others is correct, that it is believable that if we are scared to death, that we will not bother to question what it is that we have been told is the truth, and really, it is not the truth.
Fear is NOT respect. To tell us all that we "must fear God" is the biggest, ugliest sin of all, because to a child fear is fear, no matter what. When a child is afraid, he or she knows they are. Of all things to make a child fear, not only Spirit, but the fear that is a child afraid of his or her parents, which is also the fear of disappointing them, of doing things not good enough to please them, which can cause them to tell us that we were not good enough to do something to THEIR specifications ....this is how these people MADE US respect them, and our grandparents as well, because that is where the generation of parents before ours learned how to make us respect, through the use of fear. And it was a fear of things that were not only physical, but also emotional and spiritual as well. To feel like respect and fear are the same thing is very dangerous and causes people to go out into the world and do things and say things that are based in fear rather than in respect.
I hate to sound like I am hating on my 'Aumakua, like I am hating on my Kupuna, but the way that a whole lot of Hawaiian kids are taught as youngsters is the "hit first and ask questions later" type of instilling into kids a forced respect based in fear. This is an act of fear placed on a child by adults who are still listening to the things that the people who, at one time, who, some of them, are not in this awareness that we are anymore, were the adults in the lives of the people who were the adults in our own lives. This is how fear becomes equated with respect, and how this sort of energy is carried down the bloodlines and into the subsequent generations which follow.
What Respect IS
Respecting other people is how we learn to get along in this lifetime, period. Respect, in its Merriam-Webster's definition is as follows:
"...(2) vb 1 : to consider deserving of high regard: ESTEEM 2: to refrain from interfering with another's privacy 3: to have reference to :CONCERN..." (2006, Merriam-Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus, pg 893)
Respect is not fearing anything or anyone, but is displaying the qualities that are that of high regard for others, and our not even thinking to pry into another's private and in-the-soul places where no one should be without some sort of permission, and it is being concerned with the well being of others, and, as well, to be able to have even the tiniest bit of empathy in regards to another's life, choices, being-ness, etc.
This current generation of parents, we have the opportunity and the option to teach our own charges what respect really is. Our children are not scared, at least not like we were. They are not afraid to tell us when they hurt because they are not afraid that their parents are going to tell them to choke back the tears because no one wants to be around a cry baby. Our kids are not afraid to be who they truly are....blue hair...tatted out...piercings....LGBT...because our generation knows what it is like to try to fit into a personality and a spirit that is conforming and that is rigid and just not who or what we are, and is also not who they are.
We teach our own children this Kuleana, this responsibility of the Soul that was handed down to us in its rawness, in its violence, in its pain, and with these things we brought to the world this sense of Respect that is the very truth of us....tats, blue hair, piercings and all, and really, it is a beautiful thing, because it is the truth.
There is never anything essentially wrong with the truth. Respect is Truth. Period.
Respect is not violence handed down with a heaviness of the hand and the weightiness of hurtful words that sting the soul, harm the pride within, crushes the Spirit that is essential to who we are on the inside. Respect is not names called in haste, is not the parental authority that was there and present in our own lives, when we were children, when it was our own Kuleana, unbeknownst to us all, that the lessons we were given that were the evidence that Respect was not meant to harm us was not the actuality of this thing that is vital to healing, is vital to the growth of the Soul within. It takes so very little to do small things, but in their anger, in their misrepresentation of the truth that they were forced to accept by their own Kupuna, they gave us that which they knew not was anything but respect.
To violate a person's sense of self using things that they believe is the truth is wrong. To violate anyone as a means to manipulate and cause harm, even unwittingly, is wrong. To teach fear as respect is dangerous, gives someone a reason to feel as though they somehow are wrong for who and what they are. Our lives were not meant to be lived under the control of other people, namely not those whose lives were lived in fear of disappointing people who were likely and also afraid. It is our place in this Universe to give respect, so that those in our charge will learn it and not fear others.
It is dangerous to the all of humanity to teach fear, because fear makes us act out irrationally, and that is the thing that a lot of people who teach with the crack of the whip rather than the truth as it really is do not understand they are doing. When we teach others who we are, we teach them through reaching them in ways that are not felt physically, but from and with the Spirit and those lessons reach all the way down to the Bones of the Soul.
Teach Respect, and TO respect, rather than to force respect through fear and manipulation.
We must take up our Kuleana, both singularly as well as collectively, and remind ourselves daily about the things that we were taught, that were forced onto us, and whose rules were those set by people, at that time, who were no longer in physical existence. We must stop leaning on the understanding of those who have passed away in terms of fear as respect, and we must force ourselves to step outside of the comfort zone of conformity because if we do not, we will create another generation of people who hurt others, who willingly abuse those they say they love, and all for what?
Respect that is not truly respect, but is fear instead dressed up as what we have been told to believe is Respect.
Respect should be a given, not because it is expected, but because all humans should expect to be respected, period.
If we behave like people tell us to, and what they say is based in fear rather than in Love, we will essentially be as those who brought to us the lessons that were not respect, and were anything but Love.
I Love You All
ROX
@ReverendRoxie22
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Insecurity - it's that thing you are shrinking from
Society has only shown us what we are not able to do, what we cannot have, who we are not. It has yet to tell us exactly just how kick ass we each and all are
Fear. It is the greatest crippling thing in the world. Fear makes us think and assume and ultimately do things that we otherwise would balk at. Fear makes us think that we are not as awesome as we truly are. Fear makes us say things that hurt other people. Fear makes us become the thing that we cannot stand, and the one thing that no one can stand is being afraid. This tangible world has us all believing that no matter how good we think we are, that there is always someone who is going to be better than we are. While this is the truth it is not a truth that needs to be heard or said by anyone at all. While it is the truth, what is also the truth is that there is not one other person on this planet who is just like you are. You are an original. You are mighty and powerful in your own right and in your Soul you are like anyone else is - brilliant.
Yet, you want to believe what you have been told that you are. You want to believe that you are as stupid as you have been told that you are. You want to believe that you are not beautiful. You want to believe that you are a liar. You want to believe that you are a cheater. You want to believe that you are not awesome. I am here to tell you that you are very well quite awesome.
Most folks are too scared to see that there is the off chance that we each might be absolutely bad ass. Think about that for a minute. When we are told by anyone at all that we are not possessed with certain ways of being, that we do not look as good as this person does when they wear a certain color, that we are not as smart as someone else is when said person is doing what they do best, that no matter what or who we are, that we are not the greatest version of ourselves that we can be.
That sucks.
Knock your crap off. Do you not realize that when you think the way that other people manipulated you into believing that you are giving your power and control of who you are away? Are you not aware that while you might not be the ideal of one person's preference, that you might be exactly what a whole gang of fools might actually be all about? No one ever thinks past the last horrible thing that they were told, and what they were told is probably a lie, is just the thing that a person who has manipulated you into believing otherwise than that you are bad ass and awesome.
If you feel threatened by someone else's presence, that is not the someone else's thing to deal with. They were just being their damned selves, and it is not their fault that they have grown out of the idea that anyone should have to prove that they are worthy, yes, even you. If you feel intimidated by someone else, for whatever reason, that is on you, because it is not the other person doing anything other than being who they are and being who they are for all the right reasons. And no, none of the right reasons are or even sound like "to bug you." That is such an egotistical stance to take, namely when it comes to someone else, who they are, what they do, that they are loved by many. You can have this, too, but you have to stop believing what it is that you keep telling yourself that someone else told you.
Yes, I know, a lot of people lied to you, and you trusted a lot of people, and all those people ended up being less than pure and honest with you. So what? What about you? Why are you so worried about what you assume other people are thinking about you, and more, you don't realize it but when you decide to feel threatened by other people, decide that someone is intimidating, you are judging them, harshly even, and I know this is the truth because I have been on both sides of that ball court and lemme tell you this much - it is NOT worth it.
It is not worth all the pain, all the emotional crap that you are going to not only put yourself through, but everyone else, too, and you will put them through it all for an assumption. I go through it a LOT, more than I think I deserve to, and it is because for some odd, weird reason, I happen to be yet another human being on the face of the planet. In fact, there are many of us here, and we are all here NOT to make anyone feel like they are going to lose anything to us, not to make anyone believe that they are going to have to live up to who anyone else is, not, not, NOT for all the silly reasons that anyone else would assume, and then choose to hate on, another person.
Just because someone else looks another way, or is more intellectually inclined than another person, it is not permission to be an ass hat and make the lives of the people in our lives miserable by making it seem as though anyone has to live up to anyone else at all. When we put the weight of our own fear and our own insecurities on other people so that they can bear the weight of our pain and we end up hurt, this is the point at which we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves and not only ourselves, but other people, too. This is the funny thing, here, guys - we all have to accept that there are other people on this planet, and we all have to get used to the idea that there are going to be a lot of people who will not change who they are for lil' ole us.
Lil' ole us has to realize that we are not the only people here, that people who we share a closeness with also have other people in their lives and those people are there to share with the world who they are, and you are part of the world, meaning that those who would be welcoming like this would probably not be as bad as one might want to believe they are. The thing is, when someone thinks that they have anything or anyone to live up to, it is time, at that point, to think past who we think we are and who we have been told we are and just be who we really are.
You might surprise yourself. You might actually like you. In fact, the people who you might have seen as a danger to your soul may actually be ones who will cause you to want to meet someone you have never really met before, and that means that you cannot possibly know them.
That someone is You, silly....
Stop assuming that you are in danger or threatened by that which and who is not you. You are just as special as anyone would be, and you have a lot to offer the world, just as much as anyone would. You should also stop letting those damned ear gremlins into your brain...they are in there messing with your mind and making you think things that you know are not true, and even if they were true, you cannot change what has happened, can't change other people.
You can only pull your head out of your ass and realize that the reason things seemed so dark and shitty was because you had your head up your ass....
Duh...
Somethings never change...thank the Goddess that we humans were born equipped to evolve at our own pace...
Stop being afraid of what you cannot control, and stop feeling threatened or minimized by people who you don't care to even want to know.
They may very well be exactly what you need.
How will you find that out if you keep on assuming that they feel about you the way that you presently do?
Good question, right?
Be You...and not this ...meh...version of You.
You are not a shrinking violet and you never were.
Come out of the darkness and see the Light...it's nice on this side...
Don't be afraid. Slide on into the evolution that is You.
I promise, this side of the velvet rope isn't so bad once you realize that it was put there to keep others out of YOUR happy place and not the other way around...
Yeesh !
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX
Fear. It is the greatest crippling thing in the world. Fear makes us think and assume and ultimately do things that we otherwise would balk at. Fear makes us think that we are not as awesome as we truly are. Fear makes us say things that hurt other people. Fear makes us become the thing that we cannot stand, and the one thing that no one can stand is being afraid. This tangible world has us all believing that no matter how good we think we are, that there is always someone who is going to be better than we are. While this is the truth it is not a truth that needs to be heard or said by anyone at all. While it is the truth, what is also the truth is that there is not one other person on this planet who is just like you are. You are an original. You are mighty and powerful in your own right and in your Soul you are like anyone else is - brilliant.
Yet, you want to believe what you have been told that you are. You want to believe that you are as stupid as you have been told that you are. You want to believe that you are not beautiful. You want to believe that you are a liar. You want to believe that you are a cheater. You want to believe that you are not awesome. I am here to tell you that you are very well quite awesome.
Most folks are too scared to see that there is the off chance that we each might be absolutely bad ass. Think about that for a minute. When we are told by anyone at all that we are not possessed with certain ways of being, that we do not look as good as this person does when they wear a certain color, that we are not as smart as someone else is when said person is doing what they do best, that no matter what or who we are, that we are not the greatest version of ourselves that we can be.
That sucks.
Knock your crap off. Do you not realize that when you think the way that other people manipulated you into believing that you are giving your power and control of who you are away? Are you not aware that while you might not be the ideal of one person's preference, that you might be exactly what a whole gang of fools might actually be all about? No one ever thinks past the last horrible thing that they were told, and what they were told is probably a lie, is just the thing that a person who has manipulated you into believing otherwise than that you are bad ass and awesome.
If you feel threatened by someone else's presence, that is not the someone else's thing to deal with. They were just being their damned selves, and it is not their fault that they have grown out of the idea that anyone should have to prove that they are worthy, yes, even you. If you feel intimidated by someone else, for whatever reason, that is on you, because it is not the other person doing anything other than being who they are and being who they are for all the right reasons. And no, none of the right reasons are or even sound like "to bug you." That is such an egotistical stance to take, namely when it comes to someone else, who they are, what they do, that they are loved by many. You can have this, too, but you have to stop believing what it is that you keep telling yourself that someone else told you.
Yes, I know, a lot of people lied to you, and you trusted a lot of people, and all those people ended up being less than pure and honest with you. So what? What about you? Why are you so worried about what you assume other people are thinking about you, and more, you don't realize it but when you decide to feel threatened by other people, decide that someone is intimidating, you are judging them, harshly even, and I know this is the truth because I have been on both sides of that ball court and lemme tell you this much - it is NOT worth it.
It is not worth all the pain, all the emotional crap that you are going to not only put yourself through, but everyone else, too, and you will put them through it all for an assumption. I go through it a LOT, more than I think I deserve to, and it is because for some odd, weird reason, I happen to be yet another human being on the face of the planet. In fact, there are many of us here, and we are all here NOT to make anyone feel like they are going to lose anything to us, not to make anyone believe that they are going to have to live up to who anyone else is, not, not, NOT for all the silly reasons that anyone else would assume, and then choose to hate on, another person.
Just because someone else looks another way, or is more intellectually inclined than another person, it is not permission to be an ass hat and make the lives of the people in our lives miserable by making it seem as though anyone has to live up to anyone else at all. When we put the weight of our own fear and our own insecurities on other people so that they can bear the weight of our pain and we end up hurt, this is the point at which we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves and not only ourselves, but other people, too. This is the funny thing, here, guys - we all have to accept that there are other people on this planet, and we all have to get used to the idea that there are going to be a lot of people who will not change who they are for lil' ole us.
Lil' ole us has to realize that we are not the only people here, that people who we share a closeness with also have other people in their lives and those people are there to share with the world who they are, and you are part of the world, meaning that those who would be welcoming like this would probably not be as bad as one might want to believe they are. The thing is, when someone thinks that they have anything or anyone to live up to, it is time, at that point, to think past who we think we are and who we have been told we are and just be who we really are.
You might surprise yourself. You might actually like you. In fact, the people who you might have seen as a danger to your soul may actually be ones who will cause you to want to meet someone you have never really met before, and that means that you cannot possibly know them.
That someone is You, silly....
Stop assuming that you are in danger or threatened by that which and who is not you. You are just as special as anyone would be, and you have a lot to offer the world, just as much as anyone would. You should also stop letting those damned ear gremlins into your brain...they are in there messing with your mind and making you think things that you know are not true, and even if they were true, you cannot change what has happened, can't change other people.
You can only pull your head out of your ass and realize that the reason things seemed so dark and shitty was because you had your head up your ass....
Duh...
Somethings never change...thank the Goddess that we humans were born equipped to evolve at our own pace...
Stop being afraid of what you cannot control, and stop feeling threatened or minimized by people who you don't care to even want to know.
They may very well be exactly what you need.
How will you find that out if you keep on assuming that they feel about you the way that you presently do?
Good question, right?
Be You...and not this ...meh...version of You.
You are not a shrinking violet and you never were.
Come out of the darkness and see the Light...it's nice on this side...
Don't be afraid. Slide on into the evolution that is You.
I promise, this side of the velvet rope isn't so bad once you realize that it was put there to keep others out of YOUR happy place and not the other way around...
Yeesh !
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX
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