It all begins with you

Everyone wants change to happen. Change doesn't just happen.

Change doesn't just happen. It has to be cultivated, and it has to be thought out, and it has to be able to become real. A whole lot of people just think that when they change their mind that it is so very simple to just go with it. This is not the truth. The truth is that in order for us to go from our darkness and toward our light and getting there guided by the Light within, there needs to be some work going on, and that work has to start on the inside. To change anything at all takes time, because what we are dealing with everyday is a fluctuation in the things that we believe. Change is not easy. Change takes work and change takes time and change takes everything within us each to believe that there is something better for us that will come to us and through us. Without our involvement, we will only want change to happen. In order for change to happen, we have to do what it takes to make it that way.

We have to start with our thought process.

While it is the truth that more and more people are beginning to take notice of the thoughts that they think having everything to do with what they perceive to be the world in which they themselves both live and have created, what is also true is that the people in our lives who seem to be having the hardest time with life in general and who are bitching about it all the time are the very people for whom this is written. To those people who want change to happen TO them, well, y'all are waiting for God to come knockin' on your door like so many evangelists annoyingly do far more than anyone needs to know their version of the word of God.

You have to actively want to have things better for you, and as much as you want the changes to happen to you is as much you also have to think that all the work that you are going to do is worth it. Change is not easy. Change means, to a lot of people, that we are just not right. To believe that we even need to change anything about ourselves is, again, for some people, akin to telling ourselves that there is something essentially wrong with who we are. There is nothing wrong with anyone. There is only the stagnant nature that is the will of the Ego prodding us to remain in our comfort zone and hope and pray that change will visit us. If that isn't enough, a lot of people also believe that good change only happens for lucky people.

Of course, then there are those ones who seem to believe that they are somehow owed by Spirit the things in life that they want so bad. These are the people who are the abusers in our midst. These are the ones who live their lives with their arrogance plainly seen by the very world and these are the people who believe that who they are is the greatest example of what everyone else on the planet would like to be like, and if they don't want to be like them then there is something wrong with everyone. else. These are the types who we see in government who refuse to let go of a woman's right to choose what is best for her life and her body, and these are the types who feel like they have to put anyone at all in their place, just because putting someone else in whatever it is that the overblown morons seem to believe is the only right way to do anything, think anything, be anything.

These very people, the ones whom I have described in the paragraph above this...these are the ones who are the most fearful, because these are the ones who believe that they know what is best for everyone because they happen to know what is most comfortable and appealing to them. When someone feels like they have to maintain control over anyone else it means that they are afraid, and they will, even knowingly, make other people afraid to think for themselves, will make a person hurt for wanting to be who they are. This happens everyday to a whole lot of people, and there is an entire population of people who are on the receiving end of those ways who are, for the life of them, caught between a rock and a hard place. Abusers are people who hurt, dearly, and are people who never believed that there was anything about themselves that needed or need to be addressed, and these are the very ones who go through life fearing anything different, new, and more, anything which will render them no longer in control of someone else.

The thing about this, though, is that what these abusers are not realizing is that not only are they scared of everything, but by their very own actions based in fear and manifested as control of others, are completely out of control.

Completely OUT of CONTROL !

There is not one single survivor of DV who will not agree with me when I say that when someone feels like they need to control someone else, the person who needs to have that control is completely OUT of their mind. Parasitic people who believe that what is someone else's is also theirs to take are out of control because when they were growing up, someone else had control over their lives, and they didn't like it. Yet, even though they know what they went through with the people who were bad to them, some of them, in order to feel some sort of normalcy that is the most abnormal sense of normal that any one person could believe it to be, take control over someone else.

Parents are phenomenal at control, namely the very strictly religious parents, as well as the "I will live vicariously through my kids because I didn't live my life the way I wanted to and I still don't because my own parents are still controlling my life and my every thought" sort of parents. When we as parents do not allow, within certain reason, our own children to make their own choices, to think their own thoughts, to choose what they will and will not believe, even if that means what they believe is not the same as what we believe, we end up stifling their Spiritual growth, end up harming their souls in the long run, because when we have to have control over everything that they feel, think, are, will do, whatever, it means that we are still, somehow, under control of our own parents. When we try to make right the wrongs that were done to us as children, and we choose to follow the same pattern that our parents showed us, and we impart that mark on the soul without regard for the human being they are meant to become.

When we show little regard for the children who we bring into this lifetime, and we deal them the same hand of cards from essentially the same deck our hand in life was drawn from, we are paving the way for those children to do as we do rather than to do what it is that comes most natural to them or to anyone else for that matter - the natural ability to simply be who they are for real. As parents we haven't the right to ruin them, to make them feel unworthy as they are. This is what telling people what to do, and what trying to keep others under our thumb causes them - a very real feeling of not being good enough and a feeling that the person has that tells them that even in their own skin they are not right.

It is a judgment on us when someone else criticizes us, a ding to the heart and a marring of the pride in who we each are. If we are told that we must be one way and that if we do not remain that way, the person who tells us this threatens to take away the thing that all abuse victims and survivors crave, want, and the one thing that all humans need - Love, of others, for others, of ourselves and for ourselves. Telling other people that they have to not grow and not be who they really are so that we can feel better about who we are not is the most common and very much the harshest kind of abuse there is, because it is abusing the Self within that takes place. And the Self is who needs to grow, and if the Self cannot grow or more than that, is manipulated in to believing, through the ego of the person who is being abused, not allowed to grow because of false boundaries and a conditional and violent nature of the "love" from the abuser, then surely, the Self will become crippled.

We were meant to be different, meant to like things that are not the same as everyone else, and we were meant to also change and grow and become the best version of who we each are, to not remain safe and secure in the false notion that if we choose to change to better our own lives, we are somehow not good enough for ourselves, because we want to change, and this makes our abusers manipulate that one thing in us so that they can maintain control over our lives. If we choose instead to follow the whims of the warrior within whose only mission in this lifetime for you, the body on the outside, is the growth that you are meant to experience, we find out through the pain and the hurt that on the other side of all the tears is the ocean called freedom, of choice, of will, of self, of soul, of Life.

And these are the gifts which we are offered in exchange for the false sense of security that comes with the promises made to us when things are rosy, when things are tolerable by any measure at all, and when the person or people in our lives who deem acceptable the reigning in of the Self so as to not impede their goal of never allowing anyone else to become the best version of who they are, simply and only because the abusers of the world fear everything.

Of course, the one thing that is scariest to someone who is afraid of not being all that they tell everyone else on the planet they are- no matter what it is - is that other people will know that while they are scary on the outside, on the inside they afraid to grow, afraid to change, because ultimately, they are afraid that who they really are in the Soul, no one will Love. Let me make this much clear...you can only be truly Loved by everyone else when you can truly Love Yourself. These abusers fear Loving others completely, because they do not understand, will reject, do not believe that it all begins with them. It all begins with Love of Self.

That one thing that all abusers are is afraid of being found out, afraid of other people no longer fearing them, no longer living in the shadow that is the evidence of another's own inner demons constantly giving them the idea that without someone in their lives to reign control over, they have no proof of their power. The other thing that they are deadly afraid of is the scariest thing of all to them...

...that you will have proof not only of their lack of control and power over themselves, as well as proof of the overflowing dearth of power and control that the person who they told and believed to be weaker than they are actually possesses and actually always has had.

You are more powerful than you know, than you believe you are. You have the power to control the world that you call your own.

It all begins with you!

I LOVE YOU ALL!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Healing with Hula Program for Women and the Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui - The Sisterhood of The Soul. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer , Public Speaker, Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse Survivors Advocate and Spiritual Coach. If you would like to contact her for speaking engagements, Spiritual Consultations, or for anything else, please send an email to reverendroxie22@gmail.com 
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

It's YOU, not them....

Our Lives long we try to get people to Love us as we are...knock it off...Love You first, just as you are, and stop waiting for someone else to do it

We should just get over ourselves NOW, dammit. My thought about trying to change someone else to make us more acceptable in their eyes is just...meh...it is too much work to do to try to do something that will not happen.

Okay, so it COULD happen, but the likelihood of that happening on behalf of anything that is not meant for the Self and ultimately, The Soul, is as likely as our winning an Oscar while we are not meant for it - NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

No one else is going to make things beautiful for you. You have to do that on your own. Conversely, no one else has the power to make things ugly for you, only you do. Only you can do for you what no one else, as you well know by this time, should even bother to think to do for anyone else. Whatever it is that you are trippin' out on is yours alone, and no one outside of you is going to make that different. Even though whatever it is that they are doing and keep on doing bothers you, you have to think about why it is so bothersome. Why is what someone else doing in their lives such a big damned deal to you, and why is it that you are not willingly seeing the other side of the "If only" coin? We do so many ridiculous things when it comes to getting people to see us for who we are according to us that we are not bothering with the fact that what they see and what we see and know are two very different perceptions.

Our perception of ourselves will not be the same that others see. It never will be. While they might physically see what is there and while what is there will match, technically, the thought behind what we each and singly see will be markedly different. It's like this...a Pisces person will see the moon in the sky like a big pizza pie while the Capricorn person might see it as a good moon by which to plant a crop to sell. In this same light, we all have such very different thoughts and such very different feelings about so many different things that to think for even a tiny moment that a person who has been one way all their lives will change for YOU is like pretending that you do not want them to do the change for you rather than with you as the example of the thing NOT do to or say anymore. While they might change a little bit here and there so that they can accommodate what it is that you might need that you do not have within you, the bottom-line truth is that they are not changing something for you at all. They are changing a part of themselves FOR themselves so that you can be included and accepted in their awareness in a manner which they can relate to.

Their changing anything about them, no matter WHAT you are told, what you want to believe, whatever...is not now and nor will it ever be for you. That is placing too much power and too much control of you and too much of anything into someone else's hands. That is making them responsible for how you feel. That is making them be the one who decides for you not only how you feel, but eventually who you want to believe you are. Who you are is a sublimely unchangeable part of you. NO ONE ELSE can make you act on the way that you feel. Sure, someone else might have a lot of stuff to say, and while it might hurt the reality of it all is that it is their opinion, and we all know that opinion is NOT fact. Fact is the reality, is the manifestation of what is in your head. If you look at your self in the mirror and see something there that you are not liking or does not fit somehow you are seeing what is there that has been placed there by you via the opinion of someone else. Very truly, you took what someone else thought, said, did to you as the truth that is yours and you allowed it to be your truth even though upon looking at your reflection you see what is there that was not yours to begin with.

And we know what is "ours" and what is not.

What is Yours.

What is yours is how you feel about anything. By this I mean that the way that someone's energy "hits" you is yours, not theirs. If you think about it deeper, you will find out that while it is that they have fed you their opinion about a thing, the way that you react, or respond, belongs only to you. You are not foolish enough  to walk up to a wild animal, poke it with a stick and expect the animal to not behave like it should. If provoked it will behave in the manner that it has been provoked. If you leave it be, stay a safe distance from it so as only to look at it and observe it, it will, again, behave in the manner that it has NOT been provoked. If you decide to walk into a situation where you know the answer from the person who you have asked their opinion of will not be the answer that you like or that you want, you know already that you have provoked yourself with the stick of self-endangerment in a soul sense. If you take the answer they give you, and look at it from a different place, and see where the person you asked is coming from, you have learned, in that one moment, if you are paying attention to their words, the truth that is theirs alone, the truth that cannot be changed at all by you, and more, the truth that you have the option to react to, to respond to, or - best case - leave it be what it is, which is THEIR truth, you will find out that for all those times that you thought they were trying to hurt you that it was only your perception of what you wanted to believe was the truth of you.

Someone else's opinion of you is based on the experiences that came from events that happened in the past, meaning that they are based on events that happened for real. The things that are not real, though, are the imagined things that you want to believe that are the bad things that your own thoughts are creating for you. What they tell you is THEIR truth and THEIR feeling about whatever happened. What you hear is THEIR truth and THEIR opinion that does not have to be accepted by you, and really, just because you are not accepting it, it does not make it wrong, or right. It only makes it someone else's opinion.

What is NOT Yours

Everything and anything that did not come from you is what is not yours. That terrible idea that another person has about the way that you dress - not yours. That awful opinion that someone else has about the idea that you are being "weak" when you are not raising hell over something that someone else said or did about you or about anything you do - again, not yours. Anything that you did not think on your own and anything that is a belief that did not originate in your mind is NOT YOURS. It does not matter how someone else will assume anything about you. That is not your weight to carry. That is not your Kuleana to live up to. That is not the thing that you came up with, so this means that as of this moment, you can let it go.

That's right...if it is hurting you in any way, and you are not the person who came up with whatever it is that was said, done or whatever, you can let it go. It is not yours. It is not your truth. You did not think it. You cannot own it. Let someone else carry that heavy pu'olo for once.

Auhea Wale ana 'oe - Pay attention! Let someone else carry their own damned pu'olo for once !

As hard as I know it is to let go of the ugly things that other people think or say about us, just let it go. If you cannot let it go, learn to think about it from another place, in another way, and live with what your perspective of what you came up with on your own about what someone else thinks about ANYTHING having to do with you. Learn to take what can be thought of as someone else's crap as a way to either see something in yourself that you have never seen and look at it from your own perspective and never mind what someone else thinks, or ignore it, because if they can see it in you, and what they say about what they see in you hurts you, this means that it is also alive and well in them, and more than that, they have no right to judge you about something that they, too, have to fix in them.

You cannot see anything in someone else that you would be willing to see as a bad thing unless it is also in you. If you point out a person's ability to talk without thinking, this also is yours. Do something about it, but don't do something about it so that other people won't tell you that it is there, and don't do something about it that will hurt them. Do something about it because it can be thought of as something that you can use to your benefit. Do something about it because it is your soul's wish. Do something about it because you are choosing the option to do something about it but by any and all means DO NOT do anything about a damned thing on behalf of someone else who did not pop out of your body and who now calls you 'Mom.'

You cannot know what a person is all about in relation to you if you are not also willing to see there in them what is you, good, bad or otherwise. If the lesson that we are meant to learn is the lesson that is us knowing when we are supposed to no longer take from another person, the hurts that are meant to teach us, and we choose to not learn, we can no longer blame anyone for the horrible things that they will tell us because we walked right into their line of fire. If you are not meant to be one way, you will not be that way, but the lesson will be not that you are not meant to be that way but that you are not meant to try to be. If the lesson is that you ought not hurt for the sake of someone else, yes, including hurting from the sting of rejection and a horrible break up, including the shame that one feels over being told that they lost their job for reasons that their arrogant boss told them was the truth but is not a truth that you yourself really knows, including anything that feels like a ding to your soul, you will be given lessons in what it is like TO hurt - not to hurt someone else but to experience being hurt - but only so that you know what is the opposite of the thing that you so dearly need to know and to live and to be.

When it comes to anything at all that is of a personal nature and it causes us pause to stop and think about a thing and when it is that that thing hurts us, no matter what it is, it is meant to teach us what we need to know.

Yes, even when it comes delivered to us by the most unlikely manner, by the most unlikely people...

It is all meant to teach us who we really are in the soul...it is YOU...not them...I Promise !

I LOVE YOU ALL
ROX

Don't judge others because they are not like you

"...don't judge me because I sin differently than you do..."

                                                                                                                             (Dieter F. Uchtdorf)                                                

We all make judgment calls on other people. It is a part of life. If we do not use our ability to discern who is good and who is other than good, we are not allowing our intuitive side to do what is its only job...to discern. Our intuitive measure is the thing in us that Science calls and which activates the "fight or flight" within us all. There are times in our lives when we have to make a quick judgment call because our safety relies on it. There are times when we have to use it to gauge the energetic temperature inside of our own homes so that we can see what kind of day the rest of the Tribe is going to have based on the energy at the time of the day.

Yet, there are many, many times that we are more given to judging someone else based on a preference that may no longer apply to us, our lives, or the people we are calling judgment on. There are times when who we are in an egotistical sense takes over and makes us make not only a judgment on someone else - normally someone who we do not know - but that judgment on them is harsh and ugly. And we have the audacity to believe that they cannot feel our weightiness, the very nerve to believe that without our even bothering to ask a question of them (you know, such as what their mother named them, for starters) we judge them for things that we really have no clue about. If you are an Empath, which I am, and you are only in the beginning stages of learning to use your gift and how to know what you are honing in on in someone else, it is common that you will make a judgment early on and it is simply and only because of that scientific thing that I mentioned just a bit ago. The problem with empathy - yes...problem...is that when we are learning to use it to our advantage (so that all others may benefit, too) we cannot know yet whose energy we are feeling, ours or someone else's, and more than that, the "difficult" or heavier energies may not be who they are but instead may be someone who they know and who they are thinking certain thoughts about. 

I know this one very well. Being a strong Empath is great, but it can also be the thing that, without practice and without that practice toward our abilities, we judge others by the energies they emit without also asking questions of them that would help us to clarify a few things. Being able to empathically know things is a great tool to sharpen, but it can also be a very dangerous one if we do not bother to practice, literally, what we preach. 

Practicing what we preach

We have all sinned in the house of judging other people, all of us. We have all come short of the glory that is being fair and open with strangers. We have all made a quick call on someone else without first getting to know them, thereby also getting to know what their trip is. We love our abilities, we empaths and healers and 'psychics,' a whole lot, in fact, but there are those among us who, new at it or not, use them the wrong way. Televangelists are very good at making judgment calls on people, and the bad thing about that is that they have an audience who agrees, and sometimes in that audience there are people like we who can look into the energies of other people and see what is there that they don't want seen. It is this crowd - the ones who listen intently to any leader in the area of Spirit - or at least a few within it, who take what their guru tells them to heart, take it to the mat, if you will, making judgments on others who they do not know from Adam and only by what their eyes tell them is the truth. 

Then the fun starts. These are not the only ones who do this. Arrogant people, leaders in business, college professors, basically anyone, but really - namely those who are in some sort of power position - these are the people who, because they have a following, are very inclined to allow their Ego to take the reigns. When this happens, and because they speak to an audience of people who believe their tenets, we end up with a group of people who believe their own bullshit because they were told to. They were told that what they heard was the truth and the only truth that there is, and they believed it because it was written in a book by groups of people who told other people that they are an expert in whatever field it is that they find themselves in.

While it is that my name is not followed by "PhD.," and is instead preceded by the letters "Rev.," I cannot, ever, because it has been done to me throughout the course of my lifetime, judge another person harshly, if at all, just based on what I see with my own human eyes. My own human eyes told me to judge another person because they were different than I am, because their hair was not the same, or maybe their habits were what they were, and my arrogant ego told me that I was right and that I did not need to talk to these types of people because they looked different than I do. It was when I turned 40 that it all came rushing to my thoughts that maybe I am the reason that people are repelled by me, and maybe it is that quick rush to judgment that I habitually honored without realizing that I was hurting people, that I was hurting me, that I was creating Karma and making it so that others, through what my human eyes saw and due to those letters that come before my name, would also judge others in that same manner. 

It was when I took someone to the ER a few years back that it hit me the hardest, when the physician's assistant on duty wrote what she did in her notes that struck me where it hurt the most..in my pride, and at that moment, due to those letters, in my calling. I learned a whole lot about rushing to judgment. 

It was because of the person who I took there that this woman chose to assume that I was an addict, and while I know that because of her notes I can sue the hell out of her specifically, I also know that it was a reminder that I could take the time to talk to a person first before I just go with what my intuition tells me, and that I have the right and the option to love them instead of reprimand them in my Soul and with my energies. Yes, me...this is what I was doing. My big fat ego and me were busy trying to save the addicts of the world without first knowing the reason for the addiction or without bothering to talk to them first so that I might find out that the energy of their soul was not theirs alone, so that I would know for sure that I was being wrong, that I was not right in the mind or the soul at that moment, and that truly, I was a televangelist in my own mind and in my own world and in my very own overblown -albeit quietly so - arrogance. 

To believe that we can save everyone is one thing, but to believe that we are able to make people think that we are the best in the world and do so through our own words and our own actions and using only the whims of our egos is quite very much another thing indeed. 

The televangelist who all of us are, have been, have the potential to be and also who can be stopped, either by our own Selves, or, on the other side of the slap-happy coin, that bitch named Karma...

That Bitch named Karma really, really is out of control, and we let it be this way. We let it be this way because for the life of us we do not know how to get out of our own way. Arrogant people are the worst at telling other people what they need to do but not doing it themselves. I was this way for a long, long time, allowing my title to be the thing that led me instead of my utilizing what power is given to it the right way. The right way to utilize any kind of power at all is in equal measure of both kindness and common sense. We hear a whole lot about common sense from some of the most nonsensical people, and we know that the majority of them mean well...yet there are those ones who have a need to be worshiped, and adored while the world looks up at them as they stand up there on their ivory tower. I know this animal, too, because I was this animal. And hell yes I can see the whole herd of this creature from a mile away.

You know who you are. You are those people who like to tell others what to do, and you expect them to carry things out in the manner that you would because only your way is the right way. There are some of you reading this right now getting very offended, very angry with me, because you think or believe that I am pointing my skinny little finger at you, and you would be right in that I am calling you out, but not right when you think that I am talking about you specifically. To point out the lot of you who think that you have the ultimate last word and are the expert in anything at all and to go out into the world and impose this energy onto the rest of us is wrong and egotistical on the mild side, and rage-raising and insulting on the other side. 

You don't know it all. I know this because while I know a whole lot, I know that I don't know everything that there is to know about anything at all. Things change everyday, and everyday we get a new chance to do things differently, but most of us just stick to our own regimen and this does not stop at our habits that we do each day, but it is also applicable to the things that we think, say and know. Many people in power, no matter what that power might be...it could be job related, or it can be in the community of our family at home where we are the breadwinner...it can be anything at all, really - take for granted that somehow theirs is the only thought to be had about a thing, that they know everything about that one thing, and that dammit - no one is going to tell them that they are wrong. And why would they? Why would they since they are the one who calls the shots? Why would they because every major decision made is theirs to make, even though they "call a meeting" and ask for everyone's input? Why would they? 

They wouldn't because they have not been questioned about the things that they know, and they wouldn't because their arrogance and their ego have taken the reigns, and they wouldn't because to do so would make them human instead of a minor god in the eyes of those who they have this strange feeling of power over. Parents are horrible at this. Again...I know this personally. We parents have the nerve to believe that we did not bring our kids into this world so that they will make us look good. That is not the job of our children. That is not the job of anyone, but it seems to be the job that we all want to have. It is not the job of our descendants to undo all the folly we did, all the wrongness that we think, and it is not their job to make us look good, even though we expect them to. 

It is not their job to make it seem as though if they do something foolish, somehow we are to blame. They are kids, not machines. They are gifts, not minions. They are blessings, not people who we are allowed to lord our assumed power over, yet because society has told us that the truth is that our kids have to do as we say and not as we do (good gravy we would be in trouble collectively if that were the case) we forge on into the darkness of Control and Judgment on the one group of people who we also expect Love, respect, "honor they father" from, and we have the balls to not give it in return. 

This, people, is the reason that we hate each other, and this is the reason that we try to one up each other, and this is the reason that all of us are in this bitter competition with each other, and more than anyone else, our very selves. We fight our selves each and everyday with this. We want to do right by our kids, and we want them to be happy, but we want them not to stray from who  WE are and we don't allow them to grow to be who they are meant to be. We want their love, but we settle for their worshipful glances, and we think we are right in that energy. We are not. It is not okay to think that we hold the ultimate truth in what is right or not right for everyone on the planet and even everyone in our own world. But we think we are right, and we do it anyway, imposing onto the most important people in that world, what is right and wrong for them by what is preferable to us. This is not to say that we have no rights to offer our opinion, but we have no right to offer our opinion to our brood as being the facts indeed. 

It all starts where the heart of us collectively is. It all starts with those people whose life depend on us and our call to action and our sometimes rush to judgment on them and everyone else. 

It all starts at home.

It all starts with us.

I Love You All

ROX

Perfectly, permanently imperfect

No one will tell another person that really, it is our imperfections which make us perfect at being who we are

I say a lot about how things affect the world and the consciousness of abuse survivors. Today, though, I am addressing the entirety of us, men included, and today I am standing behind my proverbial pulpit, preaching to the masses about the reality that there is not one perfect person on this planet, that not one of us is better than anyone else, and most of all, it is high time that ALL of us decided that we will just Love who we are and to hell with what anyone else thinks.

To hell with what anyone else thinks

To hell with what others think of you, because you are as perfectly you as you can be. No matter who says what to you, and no matter who says that you are not good enough, smart enough, this or that enough, you are you because you have a purpose, and while none of us, maybe including you, really knows what that purpose is, the truth of the matter is that so long as we live WITH purpose, we can never go wrong, and that is where we will find the beauty that is our imperfect nature.

It is our imperfections which make us unique, and it is these same imperfections which make us each uniquely who we are. Why on earth would anyone want to keep up with the world's ideal of beauty, of charisma, and more, why would you just not be in Love with all the charm that makes you, you? Why would you want to touch-up such a beautiful person, the one who lives on the inside and the one who keeps on telling you that you are somehow not good enough? Let me put it to you this way, folks - if we were all as perfect as the media clowns tell us that we should be, and to you ladies, if we were all a perfectly slim size 3, and to you men, if you all were one kinda guy, what the hell kind of world would we really be admitting to helping create if all we are is a clone to one another?

No, not a mirror to each other, because in that mirror that we are to one another there is the beauty that is the people on the other side of the reflection that we see with our Soul's eyes. We see ourselves in other people, and my question now is only - why do you not Love You just as You imperfectly are, right now? Yeah yeah...I know...we can all admit, right now, to not being as fit as we want to be, and we can all admit to not having all the trinkets in life that we are told makes life "comfortable," but in the mix of things and of the All That Is, we are a great big part of the Great Big All That Is!! When you think of things in that manner, it makes sense now, doesn't it, that you would be just perfect as you are.

Without you being the you who you are, someone like me would not be able to see the Me who I am, and I Love the me who I am. The me who I am came into being because the You Who You Are was good enough to show me the part of you that is the Soul, and the You Who You Are made the time to make sure that you showed me myself by simply showing up in my life.

Yup...totally how it works....we show up in each others' lives and suddenly we can see ourselves...it is just that simple.

The Me Who is Me and the You Who You Are are Two VERY special people, you'll agree

It is about time that ALL humans STOPPED with the self-defeating ideas and thoughts that make the ugliness in life more prevalent and more pronounced than it needs to be. The me who I am and the you who you are are two very special people. We are special because you have in you the me that is me, and I have in me the you who you are. As confusing as that sounds, it really is simple when it is broken down into simpler terms. Very simply, I Love You as you are, because you are like I am in that you have much to offer other people just by being your very kick-ass self. We are so much more inclined to see in ourselves a deficit that we cannot see the side of us that is gorgeously meant to be the beacon that is the light which guides us to the thing that we want to be, which is just a higher purposed version of our imperfect selves.

Our imperfect selves in all of our own perfection, from the Soul of us all, cannot see what is not there within us, and since it is that I cannot see the things that my Ego wants me to use as a competitive edge against someone else then I guess the imperfections that you think you see in you are not really there because those things do not exist in me. I cannot see a way to hurt other people on purpose, and if the me who is trying to be perfect needs to be perfect, then that me is always going to only see the flaws that I have to point out to other people. If we can point out our flaws to other people and those people cannot see these flaws, then why it is that we choose to see that which is not even there but to our own eyes....well, why the hell are we worried about it?

Why the hell are we worried about it?

Why does our imperfect nature seem to be the only thing that we alone can see? If anyone else can see it, that means that we have either pointed it out to them or that they, too, have this same thing about them that you think you have about you. What is not there is just simply not there, and when we assume that it is there and we want other people to see it, too, we are only and all about the idea that who we are is meant for other people to judge, and what the hell is up with that?

I mean, really - who really wants to look like anyone on television anyway, right? Have you seen these people lately? I am not talking about what they look like in terms of what they look like, but more in terms of the idea that these people cannot hide the darkness that they are, and while I am all for vacationing on the Shadow Side of life, I am not one who prefers to stay there too long because it will wreck my perfectly imperfect tan ! No one I know likes being sad or angry, likes being mad or upset, so why is it that we are so inclined to make ourselves that way through the use of someone else's opinion? If someone else has an opinion about us that we don't much like, and we want to call them out on it, STOP ! I say STOP because you will not change their minds, and you will not change how they feel. The most you can do about how they feel is learn about how you really feel about you.

You cannot possibly agree with everything that the world tells you is the truth, namely not when it is that the entire world does not know who you are. If the entire world does not know who you are, then is it not also the truth that there is an entire world outside of our own smaller personal worlds that we can go out into and invade with our measure of imperfect greatness. Think about that for a minute...all the people who you know now, and all the people who you knew before now....those are not the only people on the planet, and this means that there are a LOT of other people who will...WILL feel about you the way that I want you to feel about you, and how I want you to feel about you is that you are the greatest you on two feet that you have ever heard of and known.

Don't worry if your pants don't fit, because it is not your ass that does the loving - it is your heart. Don't sweat it if you are not exactly the picture of perfectly sculpted health, because even the perfectly sculpted have imperfections, too. Don't worry if your teeth aren't the whitest, or if you have a little bit extra around the mid-section more than you did just a few years ago. Don't worry if you are not married to that first person you married. Don't worry that you do not have that job you just lost. Don't worry that you are not the you who you think is the very truest you of all, because it is the other You...the one who Loves unfailingly...it is that version of You who you should Love the most, because that is also the You who I Love the most.

The You who is unpretentious, and the you who might be a little less refined than you want to be, and the you who is impossibly hard-headed and does not want to change your mind...this is the You Who I Love because this is the You who You really are. The You who thinks that she has nothing to offer a new man, and the You who thinks that every woman on the planet will judge you because you are not like all the other guys...this is the you who I Love the most. The you who sings off key when you have had too much to drink, and the You who paints pictures when under the influence of your own anger...the You who calls me crying over something as silly as your hair won't hold a curl, and the you who thinks that who you WERE is better than who you are becoming....this is the You who I love the most.

The You Who I Love the Most is the person who I speak to, is the person who I party with, and is the person who I would do much for, or maybe have done much for. The You who I am talking about is the You who is Me, and the You who is Me is a person who just cannot imagine why it is that I think you are the coolest you that you can be, and that me wants to know why you don't think that way, too. The Me who is You wants to know why it is that we know each other if how you feel about you is not the way that I feel about you, and the way that I feel about you is impossible to think is somehow not okay. The me who is you wants you to know and to believe that you have nothing to be ashamed of and that who you are on the inside matters the most. When the you who is on the inside learns that the you who is on the outside is created by the you on the inside - this is when the two Yous will be able to see what I see, and the only thing that I can see in you is Me.

Be Kind to You and know now that You are the most perfect You that you can be, that who you are matters more than what you look like, and that what you look like depends on a lot on how much you love you. If you love you as much as I Love me, and I Love me a LOT, then you will know, too, that you must love you as much as I love me, because I Love You as much as I Love me...

STOP with only seeing what is so magically imperfect about you as being anything other than the gift of imperfection that is indicative of the blood that runs through your veins and makes you know that there is not one other person on this planet who can be You.

Only You can be You.
So what are you waiting for...an invitation?

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX