There is a difference between what we Believe and what the Truth of Us Is
Often, when working with people, I find that much of the drama that is so large a part of all of our lives is directly related and connected to the things that we have been told and things that have been assumed as what we are to other people. Belief is not only about religion - I have said that a million and one times to many of the Souls which have graced my life with their very tortured presence. The thing that has drawn a lot of people to me in regards to working with those who seek Spiritual Healing or Counsel is that what made their lives so...bleh...at the time is not the actions but the words that were said which preceded any action at all.
I won't lie about the fact that for a long, long time, I believed myself to be the weak little girl who still surfaces from time to time when it seems to her that the rest of me is somehow not adequate enough to be "approved" of or accepted just as I am. It took me some time to grow into the idea that there are going to be people on this planet who are not going to like me, who do not want to know me, and who I will never be up to par for, but that is just their opinion. They can say and believe whatever it is that they want to of me, and it won't bother me because the simple truth is that I have learned over the course of my lifetime that I am not always going to be everyone's favorite cup of tea. Yet that much isn't even nearly the thing that hurts us more than much else will, and you can believe what you want to about this next thing that I write, but if you are having issues with your own sense of Self whenever other people are inclined to give you a not so raving review of you in terms of their opinion of you, that is not theirs to deal with. That is yours to deal with.
The Good Opinion of Other People
I cannot quote Dr. Wayne Dyer directly, but he mentioned one time in one of his books or perhaps it was a live event, that we are not obligated to live up to the good opinions of other people. We have no business trying to be or not be what other people say and believe we are. That is their version, their view, their opinion of us, and in their lives it will fit because in their lives is where they live. This does not mean, though, that it has to be true in our own lives, not by any measure. When we think about how many of our own inner demons are caused because we were so worried about what other people thought of us, and in kind we chose to try hard to fit ourselves in to the mold that they have set for us, we also found that we might have bristled at the idea that we were not standard, not good enough, not right, in essence, for someone else to approve of Who We Are for Real.
Other peoples' opinions of us do not belong to us. They never have. They never will. When someone else forms an opinion of us that is not what we want them to think about us, many of us do what we can to make it known to them that the way they have perceived us is "wrong," when in fact it is NOT wrong - but you are.
You are Wrong if you think that you have control over what other people think of you. You are wrong if you have the idea in your head that you have to do anything at all to change their minds about you because the truth is that people are ready and willing to form their own opinion of you, of anyone, right upon first meeting. It is like this because it allows us to delve deeper into that thought and it allows us to not only find out if we are wrong about them, but more, if they are right about us. And the only way that they can be right about us is if we allow them to be right.
In order for anyone to be right about us and who we are there must be an active exchange of energies and actions that tell people that they are right. You might be giving that vibe to them without realizing it, and that is plenty enough for a lot of people to believe what it is that is their opinion of them. Many people do not give other people even the tiniest bit of what might be someone else's truth because they are so rigid in their own way of believing in their own thoughts that no one can ever grow out of that thought and once again, we take a ride on the Karmic wheel only to be taught the lesson again and again.
Eventually we tire of the idea that what we are being told is the truth of us. Eventually we want to find out for ourselves what really is our truth.
I have been seen as being weak, as being entirely too emotional, as being flighty, as being somewhat of an indecisive person. I can find not one human being who has also not been all these things, and while these things, at one time or another in my lifetime, may have very well been the truth of me, I have, in no uncertain terms, made it my mission in my own life and in my own Soul's presence, to live my Life by means of the things that are also true of me. I know that I am strong and in possession of strong character. I know that when I say I am going to do something that I will do it and that if I find I am not able to, regardless of the reason why I am not able to, I will also tell people that I am not able, no matter what. I know that I am in possession of a high moral regard for the Spiritual Life of other people, and I Know, too, that more than a lot of other things that I know I am, the one thing that I know I have always been is a very good human being who has, just like everyone else has, done some really not so good things.
I am sure there are more things about my Self that I could add to both sides of that list, but more than much else, I know that when I look at the things on this list that they are believable because I make them believable to me. I know that when I look at my list of ways of being that yes. of course I can be all of those things that are not so great, but all the time I try hard to be the best Me that I can afford myself to be because I also know that when I am the Best Me I Can Be, I am not only improving my own Life, but also, in some small way, I am giving that same living energy and that same living truth to those who mean the very most to me. I may not have all the right answers, and I might not make all the right choices, but they are the Truth of me and the answers and the choices are all mine to make and while not everyone will agree with them, the beautiful part of it is that no matter what, those who encounter me at any time at all is getting the very truest Truth of me.
If we could just ask ourselves that one question before we head into Dramaland, the question "Why Do You Believe What is not the Truth of You?" and answer it honestly and more, accept the answer that we come up with...well, I can tell you right now from my own experience that when you allow yourself to not only accept the truth of You from others and more, Know that Yours is the Truth by which you are meant to Live and Be, the world becomes a very different, very exciting, very beautiful place to be!!
I Love You All!!
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The Dying - Some Words About Growth
Welcome to the rest of your Life...
I am not one who throws that word "dying" around much, because the simple truth is that I have fallen dearly and madly in Love with Life - My Life.
When this trek to wholeness began I was an insecure wreck of a woman, and with good reason - I'd been through hell, made it out alive, and knew for sure that it, whatever it was that was the 'it' in my life at the time, no longer could control me or how I feel about myself or my choices. Yes, I still experience bouts with the indulgence of the little girl in me who feels like she needs the world to attend to her, but that is normal. That is not something that all of us do not go through. We all go through feeling like who we are is not good enough or simply not enough for anyone else, even our very selves.
One day, though, I woke up ...literally and figuratively...to the notion that if I wanted to be healed that I would have to exact it on my own and more than that, on my own terms. When a victim becomes a survivor, it is at that point where the trust in things and people that we didn't have becomes the guarded trust in people that we know we are capable of, we also know that our choices have led to the changes which we are so dearly in need of. We are not born into this lifetime to be anyone's victim, and the one who victimizes us the most after the fact is us. I victimized me into the thinking that I had to beg for people to accept me as I am, and the truth is that no, I do not and no, they do not have to. The acceptance of who we are is one thing, but the acceptance that not everyone is going to be crazy about us after we have evolved is quite another thing all together.
My parents would have me stay the wounded little girl - in fact, a lot of people would rather have me stay that wounded little girl, but I rather like the snarky beauty that was born of the pain and I am hard pressed to find anyone these days who will disagree with me. It is not an easy thing allowing the old to die away and no longer be a presence in our lives, but what is harder is the acceptance that the person staring back at us in the mirror is so not the same person we were just a year ago. Hell, some of us are not the same people we were just last week, and yes, the latter of these two inclinations totally applies to me. And frankly I like this newer, more evolved me, because this newer and more evolved me is more inclined to see past a thing to what is really there.
What is really there is a newly formed trust in myself, in who I am becoming and all that I Love and all Who I Love, and those who I Love the Most know that I love them the very most, because no longer am I scared to show them that yes, I Love You...it is not romantic Love but a higher Love, the kind that permeates all that we know and all that we have each transcended and all that is the Great Bigness that Is. When an abuse victim becomes a survivor, we know we have, and we allow it to show, because the truth is that for too long many of us were more inclined to not let people see the realness of who we each are. I was scared to see me for who I really Am, and while I have been told, over and over again, that what and who I am is a LOT, there is still that little girl who will always live in my Soul who is afraid to Love because she is scared to have her heart broken again. When I say that she is afraid to have her heart broken again, it is not only through the idea of romantic Love, but Love that she was not given enough of as a child, which is not the romantic sort at all but is the sort that we all need, which is unconditional.
When we evolve to what and who we are at the time that we are meant to be that new person, new people will come along to complement the ones who were there prior to them, and in those new people we will see and sense the dying off of the old within ourselves, and we will see ourselves in them because we are them and they are us and that is just how this all rolls!
Accept that each and every day there is a dying off of sorts, an evolution of who we are into who we are meant to be, not by someone else's measure, and sometimes not even by our very own, but more and only by that measure in which God and the Universe needs us to be. It is never us who we evolve for only.
Evolution is a Universal Action and it is an Action that we are all both privy and prone to...
Don't forget that!!
I Love You ALL!
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved
I am not one who throws that word "dying" around much, because the simple truth is that I have fallen dearly and madly in Love with Life - My Life.
When this trek to wholeness began I was an insecure wreck of a woman, and with good reason - I'd been through hell, made it out alive, and knew for sure that it, whatever it was that was the 'it' in my life at the time, no longer could control me or how I feel about myself or my choices. Yes, I still experience bouts with the indulgence of the little girl in me who feels like she needs the world to attend to her, but that is normal. That is not something that all of us do not go through. We all go through feeling like who we are is not good enough or simply not enough for anyone else, even our very selves.
One day, though, I woke up ...literally and figuratively...to the notion that if I wanted to be healed that I would have to exact it on my own and more than that, on my own terms. When a victim becomes a survivor, it is at that point where the trust in things and people that we didn't have becomes the guarded trust in people that we know we are capable of, we also know that our choices have led to the changes which we are so dearly in need of. We are not born into this lifetime to be anyone's victim, and the one who victimizes us the most after the fact is us. I victimized me into the thinking that I had to beg for people to accept me as I am, and the truth is that no, I do not and no, they do not have to. The acceptance of who we are is one thing, but the acceptance that not everyone is going to be crazy about us after we have evolved is quite another thing all together.
My parents would have me stay the wounded little girl - in fact, a lot of people would rather have me stay that wounded little girl, but I rather like the snarky beauty that was born of the pain and I am hard pressed to find anyone these days who will disagree with me. It is not an easy thing allowing the old to die away and no longer be a presence in our lives, but what is harder is the acceptance that the person staring back at us in the mirror is so not the same person we were just a year ago. Hell, some of us are not the same people we were just last week, and yes, the latter of these two inclinations totally applies to me. And frankly I like this newer, more evolved me, because this newer and more evolved me is more inclined to see past a thing to what is really there.
What is really there is a newly formed trust in myself, in who I am becoming and all that I Love and all Who I Love, and those who I Love the Most know that I love them the very most, because no longer am I scared to show them that yes, I Love You...it is not romantic Love but a higher Love, the kind that permeates all that we know and all that we have each transcended and all that is the Great Bigness that Is. When an abuse victim becomes a survivor, we know we have, and we allow it to show, because the truth is that for too long many of us were more inclined to not let people see the realness of who we each are. I was scared to see me for who I really Am, and while I have been told, over and over again, that what and who I am is a LOT, there is still that little girl who will always live in my Soul who is afraid to Love because she is scared to have her heart broken again. When I say that she is afraid to have her heart broken again, it is not only through the idea of romantic Love, but Love that she was not given enough of as a child, which is not the romantic sort at all but is the sort that we all need, which is unconditional.
When we evolve to what and who we are at the time that we are meant to be that new person, new people will come along to complement the ones who were there prior to them, and in those new people we will see and sense the dying off of the old within ourselves, and we will see ourselves in them because we are them and they are us and that is just how this all rolls!
Accept that each and every day there is a dying off of sorts, an evolution of who we are into who we are meant to be, not by someone else's measure, and sometimes not even by our very own, but more and only by that measure in which God and the Universe needs us to be. It is never us who we evolve for only.
Evolution is a Universal Action and it is an Action that we are all both privy and prone to...
Don't forget that!!
I Love You ALL!
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Let It Go and Breathe
Sometimes it isn't someone else who is making us crazy...sometimes, it is our very selves!
The theme of late, late meaning these last two weeks, is very definitely one that is of great and needed life changes. There are some of us on the planet who seem to equate "crazy making" with helping other people through our own ridiculous misjudgments about stuff.
There is a lot of turmoil right now, yes, but at the same time there is also the thrilling electricity of permanent and positive change in the air and it is a collective energy. Whatever it is that you are having a doubt about, and whatever it is that you are tearing apart to try to see how it - whatever it is in your life right now - came to be and why it came to be, stop...stop because you are making things worse for you, and I know this is the truth because I am a recovering rescuer.
We want so badly for everyone in our lives to be happy and well, but we do not realize and cannot see the issue within the issue that the idea that we believe we need to save anyone at all is ...that is our issue and that is the thing that we have to save our very selves from - the Ego's intent to always know better or best what we as a whole Being need. The Ego only knows about what it wants and never what the entirety of the whole needs. We need to not worry about the safety, the sanctity and the wholeness of others before we worry for those things in our own lives. We need even more to stop, and like I mentioned the other day, that collectively we are in a reboot after the biggest download that humanity has ever had to go through.
We are making our own selves crazy, people. We are doing it ourselves. We are such big bozos when it comes to the things that we know we need to do and more than that, we are even bigger bozos when we know deep inside that the things that we want for one another versus the things that we know will happen for them by their own hand are two very different things. On the one hand we know how badly these people who drive us crazy with their abilities to not do what they need to do can help make us be when they do not listen to us and screw up again and again, but on the other hand we don't realize that because we need to make it known to them that they need to change that we are the very ones who are driving us batty with the idea that we need to make something happen in their heads so that we can see them be all we know they are able to be.
That other people do what they need to on their own is one thing that I will not ever say a little Loving prompting of is not a good thing...but just a little. That we choose quite on our own to try to exact or manipulate them into doing a thing because we know it is good for them is altogether another thing on its own. When we have allowed that one thing that they seem not to think is a good thing to change about them to become part of our own human-beingish obsession to want the best for those we care the most about to the point where it keeps us up at night or to the point where it is impeding us on several different levels...
...well, that is something that is another thing that You have to work on for You, so it is best to simply just be the example of things for a moment and not try to Do but only to Be.
Tough, yes, I know it is, but so well worth it the next time the thought enters your head that you need to do something for anyone else, and will prompt you to also think about what that thought and that intention that you have for anyone else is...and more, it will bring to light, not what they need to Do or to Be to make the changes needed in their lives, but you, too, will also, if you should so choose to awaken to the reality of it all, learn where it was in your life that this other person's issues have shed light on for YOU !!
Again, Do and Be For You and You Alone because when we Do and Be for ourselves, ultimately we are also Doing and Being All That We Are Meant to Be for Everyone Else, too!!
I Love You All !
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved.
The theme of late, late meaning these last two weeks, is very definitely one that is of great and needed life changes. There are some of us on the planet who seem to equate "crazy making" with helping other people through our own ridiculous misjudgments about stuff.
There is a lot of turmoil right now, yes, but at the same time there is also the thrilling electricity of permanent and positive change in the air and it is a collective energy. Whatever it is that you are having a doubt about, and whatever it is that you are tearing apart to try to see how it - whatever it is in your life right now - came to be and why it came to be, stop...stop because you are making things worse for you, and I know this is the truth because I am a recovering rescuer.
We want so badly for everyone in our lives to be happy and well, but we do not realize and cannot see the issue within the issue that the idea that we believe we need to save anyone at all is ...that is our issue and that is the thing that we have to save our very selves from - the Ego's intent to always know better or best what we as a whole Being need. The Ego only knows about what it wants and never what the entirety of the whole needs. We need to not worry about the safety, the sanctity and the wholeness of others before we worry for those things in our own lives. We need even more to stop, and like I mentioned the other day, that collectively we are in a reboot after the biggest download that humanity has ever had to go through.
We are making our own selves crazy, people. We are doing it ourselves. We are such big bozos when it comes to the things that we know we need to do and more than that, we are even bigger bozos when we know deep inside that the things that we want for one another versus the things that we know will happen for them by their own hand are two very different things. On the one hand we know how badly these people who drive us crazy with their abilities to not do what they need to do can help make us be when they do not listen to us and screw up again and again, but on the other hand we don't realize that because we need to make it known to them that they need to change that we are the very ones who are driving us batty with the idea that we need to make something happen in their heads so that we can see them be all we know they are able to be.
That other people do what they need to on their own is one thing that I will not ever say a little Loving prompting of is not a good thing...but just a little. That we choose quite on our own to try to exact or manipulate them into doing a thing because we know it is good for them is altogether another thing on its own. When we have allowed that one thing that they seem not to think is a good thing to change about them to become part of our own human-beingish obsession to want the best for those we care the most about to the point where it keeps us up at night or to the point where it is impeding us on several different levels...
...well, that is something that is another thing that You have to work on for You, so it is best to simply just be the example of things for a moment and not try to Do but only to Be.
Tough, yes, I know it is, but so well worth it the next time the thought enters your head that you need to do something for anyone else, and will prompt you to also think about what that thought and that intention that you have for anyone else is...and more, it will bring to light, not what they need to Do or to Be to make the changes needed in their lives, but you, too, will also, if you should so choose to awaken to the reality of it all, learn where it was in your life that this other person's issues have shed light on for YOU !!
Again, Do and Be For You and You Alone because when we Do and Be for ourselves, ultimately we are also Doing and Being All That We Are Meant to Be for Everyone Else, too!!
I Love You All !
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, October 8, 2012
No Apologies
I will say it again and again...you do not have to apologize for being truly You!
Survivors of any traumatic thing that has happened in their lives all go through the feelings of guilt which spawn from believing that we could have done something to make things different or better. Different for ourselves, but better for other people. In any situation where our survival mechanisms come in to play, we will find a whole lot of underlying emotions but the one thing that we will find there for sure is a mentality of not being sure of who is at fault.
I will be the first one to tell you that you need to learn to believe that when your own world seems to fall apart, when it seems like it is about to implode on itself, whenever it feels like you have to contend with things that you just do not care to deal with, it is not all your fault. Always, at least in the case where there is an absoluteness arising from the idea that you have been through some stuff, there is more than one person who is at fault, and always, there is a reason for at least one person to be upset, and more than not, we find that too many people are more inclined than they are not to depend on someone else's version of "Don't listen to them - it isn't your fault," even as we blatantly refuse to depend on our own version of it.
We are unsure of our own convictions, and this is okay. It is okay because if we do not question ourselves we will never be inclined to seek the entirety of who we are and will always remain satisfied with what little we think we have, and we only think it is so little because someone else told us it is. We don't have to believe anyone else for anything, at all, but we are all good human beings and are compelled to believe and to trust at least one other person who is not us. It is a sad thing when we think we cannot trust ourselves, when we cannot depend on what our gut instincts tell us or when it is that we have come to the conclusion that maybe everyone else in our lives is right, everyone else in our lives knows us better than we believe we know ourselves.
This past weekend has been a big mess of people claiming to know who they are but not proving it. It is a rare person who accepts this about themselves, the idea that maybe we really do not know it all, maybe there is some truth to the idea that there is a good reason why we go through the ugliness that we go through, and that the ugliness is there to provide us with a contrast and a comparison of our own Beauty. Our Own Beauty is not always on the outside, and sometimes it is the beautiful nature within which draws people to us. For many years I thought it was something else that brought just the right people to my life, and it was the "pretty people" who'd impressed me the very most, because at an earlier time in my life and when I was only scratching the surface of how the Law of Attraction works, I was convinced that the beautiful people who'd come into my life at those times were there because I myself was so "beautiful," albeit and at that time, in an unwavering and ugly way.
Really?
Yes, unfortunately, really. I really thought that it was an outer thing rather than an inner thing and a means by which there would be a reorganization of my own belief. I believed that all it took was a thought and poof! There was the Beamer...and poof! There was the Benzo...and poof!!! There was a half-million dollar golf course home and poof! ...I think you get the idea. What I was not thinking about was that just as easily as all those pretty things were acquired, so, too, could those pretty things be taken from me. And taken from me they did get!!!
I had to be stripped of what and who I thought I was so that I could become Who and What I Know I Have Always Been. I have always been grateful, always been Loving toward everyone, always been filled with the light of Aloha, always been right there for anyone who needed me. Like the tiny-brained thinking that I was practicing back in the day of the Country Club House adjacent to the Golf course, so, too were the results back then, with the exception of a woman named April, of what my thinking (which was just rife with guilt over the things that I'd owned because I knew that they were not really mine...they belonged to the idea that someone else bought them so that they could keep up their own facade of what it meant to him to be havin' thangs) was as opposed to what it has been made straight by the turmoil of no longer having those things in my life to speak volumes about who I Am anymore.
I make no more apologies for being this Me, the Real Me, and there is a group of people on this planet who are just absolutely thrilled to know this Me, because this Me Loves everyone and does not bother to even wonder what kind of car someone else drives, how much money they make, where they have been in the world, and the truth is that I Love this Me, much as anyone who has told me that this Me is the Me who they adore. I Love Me, and I make no apologies for being the person who turmoil and heartache have smoothed my rough edges with. I make no apologies for doing what I do, being around who I care to be around, for being in the company of other people who are just like me. When I think about that last part, about the people who are just like me, I also make no apologies for my "Moses" moment in that finally, after all the smoothing out of the rough edges, and after digging through the pomp and circumstance, I found the Me who never really left, and more than that, I also found what Moses referred to as also his...Moses asked God to set his people free. I asked God to show me mine. It is sort of the same in that the only way that I would know that finally I am Free to Love Me was to know other People Who Are Just Like Me...in short I have found them...my people...and they know they are my people. They might not be from the same set of people, but they are, none the less, my people. I know they are. We are alike in many ways. You will know this, too, as soon as you accept that you are not losing anything other than your Ego's need to have its way rather than the Soul knowing what is right for us.
When we are genuinely who we are meant to be, even and in spite of all the abuses that we have gone through, the picture becomes crystal clear to us, and more and more, as time passes, we can literally see and feel what each person's purpose in our life is, and more importantly, we are confirmed with the thing that we knew already - our place in their lives. We always end up coming back to who we are, and we know who we are by the people in our lives.
Right now, I know that I am a bad ass chick, with a lot of really great guy pals who have a deep respect for the Woman who is no longer bothering to be the scared little girl...
When we can get through the weeds, we eventually find the blossoms in the center of the thorns. When Moses parted the Red Sea to set his people free, he knew that it would take that much to clarify his place and where he belonged.
Like Moses, we know where we belong, and the fun part is that while we think we are seeking it out, it actually finds us...no matter what. That which we call into Being is on its way, and that which we think we do not have, it is already here and ours and all that is left for us is to claim it...
Pretty cool, I'd say...
I Love You All !!
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free to send an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved.
Survivors of any traumatic thing that has happened in their lives all go through the feelings of guilt which spawn from believing that we could have done something to make things different or better. Different for ourselves, but better for other people. In any situation where our survival mechanisms come in to play, we will find a whole lot of underlying emotions but the one thing that we will find there for sure is a mentality of not being sure of who is at fault.
I will be the first one to tell you that you need to learn to believe that when your own world seems to fall apart, when it seems like it is about to implode on itself, whenever it feels like you have to contend with things that you just do not care to deal with, it is not all your fault. Always, at least in the case where there is an absoluteness arising from the idea that you have been through some stuff, there is more than one person who is at fault, and always, there is a reason for at least one person to be upset, and more than not, we find that too many people are more inclined than they are not to depend on someone else's version of "Don't listen to them - it isn't your fault," even as we blatantly refuse to depend on our own version of it.
We are unsure of our own convictions, and this is okay. It is okay because if we do not question ourselves we will never be inclined to seek the entirety of who we are and will always remain satisfied with what little we think we have, and we only think it is so little because someone else told us it is. We don't have to believe anyone else for anything, at all, but we are all good human beings and are compelled to believe and to trust at least one other person who is not us. It is a sad thing when we think we cannot trust ourselves, when we cannot depend on what our gut instincts tell us or when it is that we have come to the conclusion that maybe everyone else in our lives is right, everyone else in our lives knows us better than we believe we know ourselves.
This past weekend has been a big mess of people claiming to know who they are but not proving it. It is a rare person who accepts this about themselves, the idea that maybe we really do not know it all, maybe there is some truth to the idea that there is a good reason why we go through the ugliness that we go through, and that the ugliness is there to provide us with a contrast and a comparison of our own Beauty. Our Own Beauty is not always on the outside, and sometimes it is the beautiful nature within which draws people to us. For many years I thought it was something else that brought just the right people to my life, and it was the "pretty people" who'd impressed me the very most, because at an earlier time in my life and when I was only scratching the surface of how the Law of Attraction works, I was convinced that the beautiful people who'd come into my life at those times were there because I myself was so "beautiful," albeit and at that time, in an unwavering and ugly way.
Really?
Yes, unfortunately, really. I really thought that it was an outer thing rather than an inner thing and a means by which there would be a reorganization of my own belief. I believed that all it took was a thought and poof! There was the Beamer...and poof! There was the Benzo...and poof!!! There was a half-million dollar golf course home and poof! ...I think you get the idea. What I was not thinking about was that just as easily as all those pretty things were acquired, so, too, could those pretty things be taken from me. And taken from me they did get!!!
I had to be stripped of what and who I thought I was so that I could become Who and What I Know I Have Always Been. I have always been grateful, always been Loving toward everyone, always been filled with the light of Aloha, always been right there for anyone who needed me. Like the tiny-brained thinking that I was practicing back in the day of the Country Club House adjacent to the Golf course, so, too were the results back then, with the exception of a woman named April, of what my thinking (which was just rife with guilt over the things that I'd owned because I knew that they were not really mine...they belonged to the idea that someone else bought them so that they could keep up their own facade of what it meant to him to be havin' thangs) was as opposed to what it has been made straight by the turmoil of no longer having those things in my life to speak volumes about who I Am anymore.
I make no more apologies for being this Me, the Real Me, and there is a group of people on this planet who are just absolutely thrilled to know this Me, because this Me Loves everyone and does not bother to even wonder what kind of car someone else drives, how much money they make, where they have been in the world, and the truth is that I Love this Me, much as anyone who has told me that this Me is the Me who they adore. I Love Me, and I make no apologies for being the person who turmoil and heartache have smoothed my rough edges with. I make no apologies for doing what I do, being around who I care to be around, for being in the company of other people who are just like me. When I think about that last part, about the people who are just like me, I also make no apologies for my "Moses" moment in that finally, after all the smoothing out of the rough edges, and after digging through the pomp and circumstance, I found the Me who never really left, and more than that, I also found what Moses referred to as also his...Moses asked God to set his people free. I asked God to show me mine. It is sort of the same in that the only way that I would know that finally I am Free to Love Me was to know other People Who Are Just Like Me...in short I have found them...my people...and they know they are my people. They might not be from the same set of people, but they are, none the less, my people. I know they are. We are alike in many ways. You will know this, too, as soon as you accept that you are not losing anything other than your Ego's need to have its way rather than the Soul knowing what is right for us.
When we are genuinely who we are meant to be, even and in spite of all the abuses that we have gone through, the picture becomes crystal clear to us, and more and more, as time passes, we can literally see and feel what each person's purpose in our life is, and more importantly, we are confirmed with the thing that we knew already - our place in their lives. We always end up coming back to who we are, and we know who we are by the people in our lives.
Right now, I know that I am a bad ass chick, with a lot of really great guy pals who have a deep respect for the Woman who is no longer bothering to be the scared little girl...
When we can get through the weeds, we eventually find the blossoms in the center of the thorns. When Moses parted the Red Sea to set his people free, he knew that it would take that much to clarify his place and where he belonged.
Like Moses, we know where we belong, and the fun part is that while we think we are seeking it out, it actually finds us...no matter what. That which we call into Being is on its way, and that which we think we do not have, it is already here and ours and all that is left for us is to claim it...
Pretty cool, I'd say...
I Love You All !!
ROX
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free to send an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
The Most Gorgeous Day is the Day We Wake Up To Our Divine Selves
When we realize who we are, it is a most Divinely Timed, Planned, and mostly, a Beautiful Thing Indeed
This is the third time that I have changed the title of this blog, and this time the web address has been changed as well.
I have a whole lot of reasons as to why I do the things that I do, and while I cannot sit here and tell you every one of them, the one thing that I know is the truth of me, at least, is that I know and I now recognize when change is upon me. I was confirmed of this Knowing yesterday after having spoken to the women from whom I rent studio space to teach Spiritual Knowledge to other abuse survivors. I was ready, I find, to teach hula the way that I thought I wanted to, at least when it comes to teaching entire families. While it might be truth that I technically know what I am doing, and while it is that I have great communication with children in general, the fact of the matter is that at this point in time it is not the children who I must help but the women with whom I share much.
Yes, soon, I know, there will be a need for a children's class, because I know that when there is a need for the mother or the woman in charge in a familial setting to be counseled and Loved and shown and told that she is okay, that she is safe in the arms of the Universe, welcomed in the family of people who my fellow teachers and healers who help me with Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui Sunday Hula, that she never really left who she truly is, there soon will be the need, by the children of these women, some sort of sense made out of what they have been witness to. I could be way, way upset about this, but I am not. I am not upset because apparently God knows that there is a bigger reason than scheduling that has brought this about, and I know, too, that when a thing is Divinely Timed and Planned, no matter how many times we try our damnedest to make what we THINK we want to happen, while it could and even will happen, what it is that we think we want and what appears - it won't fulfill us. It will never fulfill us because when we seek things that we want and we seek outside of ourselves, the things that come to our lives are not the things that we need.
The Power of Manifestation only works all the time, which is the reason that we need very carefully to really be sure about what it is that we want in our lives. What I wanted when I first bore the thought of restarting Hula is so far removed from what I ended up with, and what I ended up with is so much more comforting to me in that God always knows what it is that we need, way more than what it is that we think we need. What we need and what we want normally are two different things. When we want something it is fleeting, but when we are Desirous of something is when the real fun begins.
When we are Desirous of something we are desiring it from the middle of our Souls, and I know that when a woman has been abused, the only thing that she truly Desires is to be Whole again. Thing is, when we are the victim of someone else, and when we are told who we are, and when we think and believe what we are told - while it seems far-fetched that I would say so - THAT is when the truest Desires of our Souls is brought to us. When we are abused we are Desirous of Peace, Calm and the restoration of our Selves. I did not realize this until yesterday, did not think for one moment about why some things take more time than others, why some situations, even though my impatient Piscean brain does not want it this way, require patience (because there are things along the way to that thing or those things that HAVE TO take place for those manifestations to not only happen but also so that they are permanent...duh, Roxanne...did Melody not tell you this again and again, you hard headed Barracuda?)
So, I want to be the very first one to welcome you to this, the most Gorgeous Day of Your Life!!
Welcome to it, folks !!! I won't lie and tell you that the Path is easier now, because it isn't.
However, do not let that deter you from your Dreams. More than that, do not let it deter You from Your Very Sacred and Divine True Self !!
I Love You All!
ROX
NA HULA O KA WAHINE 'UI
Meets Sundays from 1:30 until 3:00 P.M. at
ADAGE DANCE CENTER
2805 Metropolitan Place
Pomona, CA 91767
Click Here to Contact Reverend Roxie about Sunday Hula!
(c)2012-Roxanne K. Cottell, all rights reserved.
This is the third time that I have changed the title of this blog, and this time the web address has been changed as well.
I have a whole lot of reasons as to why I do the things that I do, and while I cannot sit here and tell you every one of them, the one thing that I know is the truth of me, at least, is that I know and I now recognize when change is upon me. I was confirmed of this Knowing yesterday after having spoken to the women from whom I rent studio space to teach Spiritual Knowledge to other abuse survivors. I was ready, I find, to teach hula the way that I thought I wanted to, at least when it comes to teaching entire families. While it might be truth that I technically know what I am doing, and while it is that I have great communication with children in general, the fact of the matter is that at this point in time it is not the children who I must help but the women with whom I share much.
Yes, soon, I know, there will be a need for a children's class, because I know that when there is a need for the mother or the woman in charge in a familial setting to be counseled and Loved and shown and told that she is okay, that she is safe in the arms of the Universe, welcomed in the family of people who my fellow teachers and healers who help me with Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui Sunday Hula, that she never really left who she truly is, there soon will be the need, by the children of these women, some sort of sense made out of what they have been witness to. I could be way, way upset about this, but I am not. I am not upset because apparently God knows that there is a bigger reason than scheduling that has brought this about, and I know, too, that when a thing is Divinely Timed and Planned, no matter how many times we try our damnedest to make what we THINK we want to happen, while it could and even will happen, what it is that we think we want and what appears - it won't fulfill us. It will never fulfill us because when we seek things that we want and we seek outside of ourselves, the things that come to our lives are not the things that we need.
The Power of Manifestation only works all the time, which is the reason that we need very carefully to really be sure about what it is that we want in our lives. What I wanted when I first bore the thought of restarting Hula is so far removed from what I ended up with, and what I ended up with is so much more comforting to me in that God always knows what it is that we need, way more than what it is that we think we need. What we need and what we want normally are two different things. When we want something it is fleeting, but when we are Desirous of something is when the real fun begins.
When we are Desirous of something we are desiring it from the middle of our Souls, and I know that when a woman has been abused, the only thing that she truly Desires is to be Whole again. Thing is, when we are the victim of someone else, and when we are told who we are, and when we think and believe what we are told - while it seems far-fetched that I would say so - THAT is when the truest Desires of our Souls is brought to us. When we are abused we are Desirous of Peace, Calm and the restoration of our Selves. I did not realize this until yesterday, did not think for one moment about why some things take more time than others, why some situations, even though my impatient Piscean brain does not want it this way, require patience (because there are things along the way to that thing or those things that HAVE TO take place for those manifestations to not only happen but also so that they are permanent...duh, Roxanne...did Melody not tell you this again and again, you hard headed Barracuda?)
So, I want to be the very first one to welcome you to this, the most Gorgeous Day of Your Life!!
Welcome to it, folks !!! I won't lie and tell you that the Path is easier now, because it isn't.
However, do not let that deter you from your Dreams. More than that, do not let it deter You from Your Very Sacred and Divine True Self !!
I Love You All!
ROX
NA HULA O KA WAHINE 'UI
Meets Sundays from 1:30 until 3:00 P.M. at
ADAGE DANCE CENTER
2805 Metropolitan Place
Pomona, CA 91767
Click Here to Contact Reverend Roxie about Sunday Hula!
(c)2012-Roxanne K. Cottell, all rights reserved.
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