Do what ignites your Soul...you're supposed to anyway...
"When you engage in work that taps your talent and fuels your passion - that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet - therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul's code..." (Stephen R. Covey in, "The 8th Habit")
So, here we are, the "all of us," and there are a whole lot of people who have lost jobs over the last decade and that whole lot of people can be divided into two parts - the ones who seek their own Soul's Code, and those who have chosen to live with and in the loss that in my eyes, is not truly a loss but rather and only another space in life where other, better fitting activities can be - better, more Soul encoded activities, that is.
The Code of the Soul
Whether you believe it or not, what we do for pay is very connected to what is in our Soul, and it shows through the manifestation of things that we can either think befalls our lives and makes our lives what many think of as hell on earth and ends up making us physically ill, or we see the losses as being the measure by which the Soul has finally found what it is that it needs us to do in order for the world to see us as what we are meant as.
Human beings are taught to see losses as a negative thing, but my thinking is that anything, when thought about, has the potential to bring us out of the darkness and squarely in the presence of our very own greatness. It is when we were more willing to keep on doing what it is that we are doing and hoping for different results through the same efforts that we employed that made us experience the sensation of proverbially running around in circles. Human beings are also taught to do things "just in case" (thank you Melody) and that is where we go wrong (and to find out how that happens you should really check out my friend Melody's Deliberate Receiving Blog because she has a blog post about exactly this one thing).
It is in the "just in case" that we are already planting in ourselves the very seeds of doubt that we are trying to dearly not have to deal with anymore. When speaking in terms of making our lives what they are supposed to be we sabotage ourselves when we are not willing to build within ourselves the possibility that what we see with our mind's eyes is totally possible. We do not realize that what we are seeing are the beginnings of what it is that we want in our lives. We are too afraid of what could happen that could make the thing that we want so badly not happen, but what we do not realize is that we have more than only one chance to have that thing and that when we limit ourselves with "just in case" we are not only slowing the reality of the dream being possible, we are planting seed of self-doubt and that is when we have to feel the pinch of things that we want NOT happening the way we need or want them to.
The Code of the Soul is simple - do what you are meant to do. I know, I know...it is hard to think that the thing that you see in your head and in your dreams is actually the thing that you are meant to do. It is hard to pinpoint that much on its own but once it is that you have been able to make sense of the reason why it is that you so badly want to do that one thing, and once it is that you see with your own two eyes the thing that you are meant to see, it all becomes a lot easier to know, and more than that, far easier to believe.
There's that...Belief thing...again...
What are you willing to believe about your self, about your life, about that one thing that you do differently than a whole lot of other people do? What are you willing to tell yourself is the very truth of you, and what are you wanting to see in your own life? These are some of the questions that I ask people who come to me looking for some sort of semblance of the truth of them, and what starts out as their asking me for a way to streamline their lives ends up becoming a coaching session - several, most of the time - that has everything to do with the clients' finding out that while they know they need their day job, it is not what they want to do. So when I ask them why it is that they have not yet found out at least one thing about their own day job that they can see themselves being able to keep doing because of, we also find out that this is something that they have been feeling and thinking for a long, long time and that it was only that moment that they finally realized that the reason they keep hatin' on their day job is because they are not fulfilled through it.
We are taught to believe that it is good to work, and it is, but the onus is that we are taught to work at any job for the most money that we can and that even if we hate the job we are doing the money makes it all worthwhile. This is a big fat lie. This is where the idea that if we are given enough reward that we will do anything, that we can be bought and that as long as the price is right we will do anything at all. This, too, is a lie, and it is a lie because even though I know that I could walk into any strip club here in my area and be hired immediately, and while I know that I could make BANK, I know better that I would never do that sort of work, not because I think that there is anything inherently wrong with it, but because it is just not the thing that I care to do. While the money might be awesome, there still is the thing about if whether or not I like what I am doing.
There is nothing in this world that is more damaging to the Soul than to continue to do things that we do not want to do. If how you roll is that big dollars talk and that the only thing that matters is that you are working, and those big dollars are the reason that you would take such work, then of course that is where you are going to be happy. However, if you are the type who, while you are making those big fat dollars, can daydream the time away about a new thing that you do that is special and specific to you and your ideal of doing what you have to do so that you can continue to do what you like to do, then keep on daydreaming because that thing that you want to do will only be made more grand in the idea that you want to do it so badly that you are willing to do what you have to do in order to get there.
Do what you have to do while also doing what you Love to do
I Love to write. I Love being an effective communicator. I Love being in front of a crowd and speaking to that crowd about the things and activities that make my soul sing. I Love being able to tell those in authority positions that abuse victims need more in the way of protection by the law and I Love networking with people. More than that, I Love helping people learn more about themselves, and I love helping people find the Spirit which resides within them and I Love making sure that those who seek my help learn to develop their own sense of awareness about their own lives and how they fit into it. My entire livelihood is wrapped around bringing people and communities together. This is what I do best and this is what part of my own claim to fame, if you will, has always been about.
Yet, I would not have ever been able to know these things about me if I were not at one time a marketing rep, if I were not an editor, if I were not a staff content writer, if I did not do all the thing that I had to do in order to do things that I love to do. And I would not have known that I really loved the things that I now do if I also did not have those times in my life where I knew that what I was doing at the time was something that I did not want to do with the rest of my own life. I would not have had the example of what was not making me happy, not making my soul joyful, not making me be all that I am today.
If I stayed with the wrong belief that the jobs I had held onto when I held onto them were somehow not meant to teach me about the wrong beliefs I'd held about what it meant to tell people what I "do" for my pay, I would not have known that it takes a lot of patience, and lots of drive, lots of persistence, and most of all, it takes the love within for a certain thing to mean enough for us to want to turn it into what it is meant to be, and only we alone know for sure what anything is meant to be at all.
It is the mission of the Soul that we do what we are meant to do, and each of us knows what we are each meant to do.
So...what are you waiting for...get out there...go do it!!
Your Soul is waiting ...
I Love You All
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Our Integrity affects EVERYTHING in our lives...
We cannot operate honestly or efficiently if we are without our integrity in complete and full tact...no, really...
I was asked if this was a "chick blog," and no, my answer to that ridiculous question is an emphatic "NO!" it is not. What it is is a blog that will make a person think about things in a different light in regards to the things that they do in order to reclaim their power, and today's post is very and most definitely about the starting point of where the loss of that power begins. I have to say that I am vehemently disappointed in the things that I see happening, but more than that I have a bone to pick with my Sisterhood of the damned world and yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with those great little magical powers that we think we have that makes us do things that we otherwise, no matter what, would not do.
While I will not detail what those things are, because they are many more than only certain things, I will surely go into detail about the effects of allowing your level of personal integrity become second to your mission at hand. If your mission at hand is in any way at all of any measure of importance to you, then you very dearly need to read this, take it to heart and know for sure that if you are not getting where you think you need to be in life, and more importantly, if you feel that you are not manifesting all of the things and ways of being and situations in your life that you feel you are deserving of, I have one thing to say to you, and you ain't gonna like it.
It's your own damned fault
If you decide that trying to manipulate other people to get what you want out of your life, and you are depending on these other people to get you to where you need to be and you are without regard for the things that they tell you as being their truth and you ignore them and their warning and you end up ass hurt or heartbroken, please...save the drama - it is your fault that you hurt and it is this way because you knew the truth. You knew the truth and you went ahead anyway and you opted to think that you could change the situation by manipulating it to be what your own rose colored glasses would let you see.Not only that, if there were other people involved and you knew their truth and you also know your own truth, the onus is on YOU! I promise you it is.
If you think for one second that what you are being told is NOT the truth, then you are reading people wrong and you have to go backwards in order to go forward, because you chose to go backward in the first place, putting yourself and your soul and most importantly, your level of integrity, up for grabs to the first person who would take you up on it, and when I say "take," I totally mean EXACTLY THAT. When you operate from a level that insults the very core of you and you knew better all along, you are the jackass, not the other person or people - just YOU.
Once you pander yourself out like you have been doing the only thing that happens at that point is that you begin to see where else it is that you can take what you think you see even as you know what you heard is and will remain the truth it becomes MUCH easier for you to lose your focus and that is where the idea that you have taken a step backward to go forward comes into play. When you deal with ONLY your ego in mind, you are dealing with your lower self and your lower self does not give two shits about what your Higher Self needs you to know. Your Higher Self needs you to learn to put yourself in the position that you have put someone else in, and have what is called Empathy. Empathy is the ability for a human being person to place themselves into the thoughts, feelings and the awareness of someone else, and if you are not able to do this and to do this with the idea that no one is taking anything away from you or who you are, I am sorry but all the Spiritual Coaching that ANY coach can give you will be all for naught because you chose to go and find out what you needed to and still went and did the stupid shit you were already doing.
I ask you - how the hell is that supposed to help you? How on earth does anyone believe that doing all those ...soul-crushing...things that please the ego and the body help to give the Spirit the means it needs in order to move ahead in life? How can anyone POSSIBLY even HOPE to become all they are meant to if they are willing to leave one foot in "I Don't Know," and the other one in "Hell yeah! Let's get this party started and let's start seeing our lives change for the way way better!" ??? HOW???? How can anyone expect better when you are not willing for it to be that way by employing all the strategies you employed in the past that DID NOT WORK THEN EITHER? HOW THE HELL CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?
I knew a guy...I say knew because that guy is dead now, and while it does not serve him right, I will say that it served me with a good understanding of what it means to live with a sense of integrity. That guy used to sell his wares and did so with the idea that he would be able to make a run for it with his customer's money, and that dude decided not only to get mad at people when, after so many times they'd seen through his bullshit, actually blamed them for what he had taken advantage of. This is my best example for what happens when we take advantage of people and we have the option to NOT ...of course, you all know I told him...I told my departed father-in-law on many many more than only one occasion that just because he had the opportunity to do for himself what he knew was legal to, that just because it was legal, it did not make it right.
I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him to have died without making that Karmic debt right, at least through the idea that he could have called those people whose money he played with and that they ended up just more broke in the end because of. This guy did this as his general practice in business, and yes, sometimes, in his life as well. While I am sure that there were times that his intentions were right, the man always knew that he was not living nor operating his business as he should have, and his health suffered because of it. His health suffered to the point of no return, much like his son's health has done - all because they ...the both of them...when it came to money, they had no...NO conscience about it, and knowingly hurting people just because they know where you are coming from is one thing, but to knowingly know where they are coming from and knowing their story and still moving forward with the wrong set of intentions is just bad, bad juju...bad magic, if you will.
It turns out badly for all parties involved. My father in law never learned how to operate from the truth nor the middle of the soul of integrity, which, by my count, is where life and business are meant to meet. The same goes for healing from anything. If you are only willing to cover the pain with other things that will eventually hurt someone, you are not operating from integrity and that is just not okay.
Not just a sense of Integrity, but a very strong sense of Integrity is what is needed by us all
Listen up - if you are more willing to pander to the ego's sense of what is good, and if you are more willing to allow that you are not at fault because someone else has made a choice that benefits you but - and without their believing so - only takes from them ...I am sorry, that is not integrity. That is bullshit, and yes, I have the right and the experience to say so.
No one deserves, regardless of how they present themselves and more, just because they put it out there, to be used. No matter what, that shit comes back and it comes back with a vengeance. The things that we do not want others to know about us always ends up being well lit, and if we live with our Integrity fully intact we also reap the benefit of never having to explain ourselves to the people who mean the most to us. If we are more inclined to be the kind of person who is "everyone for themselves," then most assuredly we will also be on the receiving end of that energy whether we like it or believe it or not - that is just the way that karma rolls. And if you think that your Karma will not be affected because someone else just gave you what you think is free and available, then you have bigger issues than you are willing to confront. This is where the real fun begins...
The "real fun" ain't really fun at all...Karma is always a bigger bitch that I can be, than anyone can be...no, for real...auhea wale ana 'oe...seriously - PAY ATTENTION!! Yeesh !
The worst part is when someone is knowingly taking advantage of a situation and knowingly getting themselves into a position where they know that it is going to be harder than hell to extract themselves from, and that is when the damned soul stuff starts, because at that point that person will know that they themselves have put a big fat monumental DENT in their own Spirit and a dented Spirit is hard to heal from because not only are we healing from our own dents but we also have to heal from the dents that we placed onto other people. That sucks. The dents that we help put on other people comes in the thought form that even though we speak with our mouths, it is our actions which count the most because the truth is in the actions...and the words?
They become unreliable, because what is happening is the exchange of energies and I repeat myself always when I remind people that energy does NOT LIE! If you are aware of your own, then you should also be aware of the peoples' who you are dealing with, no matter if you are dealing with them wrong, or right. It doesn't matter. If you are willing to put yourselves into a position that makes it easy for a person to be taken advantage of, the wrong is yours, and theirs, because while you are saying one thing and even physically meaning one thing in the action-taken sense, while your side might be pure, the other person is confused as hell and yes, you had a lot of the energy that went into that.
If I am told one thing, and you show me something else in your actions, I may not know your thoughts, but I know mine. If mine are telling me that you said one thing and did the opposite, and if the thing in question is something that is very important to me, and I keep on going on, trusting your actions rather than your words, I promise you that you are going to hurt me. This is the same for everyone. If you are told one thing, and you are thinking that what you were told is the truth, and then you see the person who told you the thing do the EXACT opposite of it, and you know that it is going to be something very important to you, and you are hanging on to the energy, the hope that the other person's energies are not lying, you WILL get hurt, and won't that just suck some serious okole, right?
Right. And you know I am right.
The Very Real Sense of Disappointment
Along with the entirety of what you are doing to your own self and your own soul, you can really only imagine what you are doing to the other person's.
They will suffer real disappointment. They will believe that they did something very wrong. They will beat themselves up. They will return to the things that they have done prior to all the work that they have done. They will hurt. They will pine for whatever it was they thought they had. They will think that there is a way that they can fix whatever it is they are feeling, and the way that they will fix it is to revert back to the only way they know how to, and normally that is not the way that they want to but it is the only way that they can recall would be what would take the pain away, even if taking it away is temporary. The pain they will hurt from will be real to them, and the pain that you have caused them will also be real to you and will cause you a very real Karmic debt that, no matter what you say or do, will be repaid and there is nothing that you can do to stop it from happening. And you know already because I say it a whole lot - this is not my rule, but that of the Universe.
They will hurt. You will hurt. They will have guilt. You will have guilt, and if you don't, then you will be in for a seriously huge and ugly surprise when the Karmic debt calls to be repaid. No debt goes unpaid. Especially not the karmic kind. Somehow, Spirit always gets Hers. Always.
The things that you each, no matter how many souls are involved, whether it is 2 or 20,000, did, said, and thought will come flying back to you in large ugliness and you will be lost as to how you got to that point, and at that point is when the disappointment will set in. Once the disappointment sets in, there also comes with it the fact that all the work you have already done thus far will have to be done all over again, and the biggest disappointment?
You mean you don't know? Holy crap...
Holy CRAP !
The "Holy CRAP!" moment is not the moment that you knew you were doing things not exactly aligned with your greater purpose - nope. The holy crap moment is when you sit there, in your self-imposed ick, and realize that indeed it could all have been not even dealt with because you could have just taken the right option to begin with. Either way, whether you are the one offering the thing that is wrecking your integrity, or you were the one taking a horrible advantage of it, either way, there will be guilt, disappointment, anger and self-doubt. I say self-doubt because after all of the options you took end up not being the right ones for your life at that time, you will start to doubt your own ability to make the right decisions, not only for you, but for everyone. And that really is what having integrity is all about.
In business and in life lived, we must know for sure that we are operating always from the middle of the Soul. If we know that we are true in our own intentions, and we know that we are ready and able to take on the kuleana of the thing that we helped someone else being, feel like, whatever, and we know that we can do so without the idea, the leftovers in the back of our heads that we know we did a wrong thing, not so much to another person, but to our own selves and to our sense of integrity, this is when we know, too, that we can go ahead with what it is that we have opted to do.
When we know that the people involved are not completely whole, not healed and in need of some sort of guidance, and because of our own Ego's needs, we go forward with the thing that we KNOW is not the right thing, and we keep on giving ourselves our reason as to why our ego thinks it is fine to do, I am promising you NOW that it is not fine to do, and you know it is not fine to do, because if it were and you were totally okay with it, you would not bother to give a reason as to why it is okay with the other person. I am telling you that it is not okay. It is not okay to allow someone else to hurt and it is not okay to believe that what we are doing to, with, for them is okay, at least not ...NOT if we know the truth and the entirety of the situation which is obviously in your face for a reason, and the reason is totally not what you think.
So, with that said, to my global sisterhood...please...refrain from using your Soul as the thing that gets you ahead in life, and yes...you know what the hell I am telling you - your "Soul" ...and you bet your okole that your Soul is connected to that one thing that you keep on using as currency.
I have but one thing to ask you...are you fucking SERIOUS? What? You ain't worth more than pretty words, promises that it ain't gonna be what you want it to be?
Wow!! That's okay with you?
It would so not be okay with me, but I guess to each her own, right?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....
*sigh*
I Love You All...no matter what...
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved
I was asked if this was a "chick blog," and no, my answer to that ridiculous question is an emphatic "NO!" it is not. What it is is a blog that will make a person think about things in a different light in regards to the things that they do in order to reclaim their power, and today's post is very and most definitely about the starting point of where the loss of that power begins. I have to say that I am vehemently disappointed in the things that I see happening, but more than that I have a bone to pick with my Sisterhood of the damned world and yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with those great little magical powers that we think we have that makes us do things that we otherwise, no matter what, would not do.
While I will not detail what those things are, because they are many more than only certain things, I will surely go into detail about the effects of allowing your level of personal integrity become second to your mission at hand. If your mission at hand is in any way at all of any measure of importance to you, then you very dearly need to read this, take it to heart and know for sure that if you are not getting where you think you need to be in life, and more importantly, if you feel that you are not manifesting all of the things and ways of being and situations in your life that you feel you are deserving of, I have one thing to say to you, and you ain't gonna like it.
It's your own damned fault
If you decide that trying to manipulate other people to get what you want out of your life, and you are depending on these other people to get you to where you need to be and you are without regard for the things that they tell you as being their truth and you ignore them and their warning and you end up ass hurt or heartbroken, please...save the drama - it is your fault that you hurt and it is this way because you knew the truth. You knew the truth and you went ahead anyway and you opted to think that you could change the situation by manipulating it to be what your own rose colored glasses would let you see.Not only that, if there were other people involved and you knew their truth and you also know your own truth, the onus is on YOU! I promise you it is.
If you think for one second that what you are being told is NOT the truth, then you are reading people wrong and you have to go backwards in order to go forward, because you chose to go backward in the first place, putting yourself and your soul and most importantly, your level of integrity, up for grabs to the first person who would take you up on it, and when I say "take," I totally mean EXACTLY THAT. When you operate from a level that insults the very core of you and you knew better all along, you are the jackass, not the other person or people - just YOU.
Once you pander yourself out like you have been doing the only thing that happens at that point is that you begin to see where else it is that you can take what you think you see even as you know what you heard is and will remain the truth it becomes MUCH easier for you to lose your focus and that is where the idea that you have taken a step backward to go forward comes into play. When you deal with ONLY your ego in mind, you are dealing with your lower self and your lower self does not give two shits about what your Higher Self needs you to know. Your Higher Self needs you to learn to put yourself in the position that you have put someone else in, and have what is called Empathy. Empathy is the ability for a human being person to place themselves into the thoughts, feelings and the awareness of someone else, and if you are not able to do this and to do this with the idea that no one is taking anything away from you or who you are, I am sorry but all the Spiritual Coaching that ANY coach can give you will be all for naught because you chose to go and find out what you needed to and still went and did the stupid shit you were already doing.
I ask you - how the hell is that supposed to help you? How on earth does anyone believe that doing all those ...soul-crushing...things that please the ego and the body help to give the Spirit the means it needs in order to move ahead in life? How can anyone POSSIBLY even HOPE to become all they are meant to if they are willing to leave one foot in "I Don't Know," and the other one in "Hell yeah! Let's get this party started and let's start seeing our lives change for the way way better!" ??? HOW???? How can anyone expect better when you are not willing for it to be that way by employing all the strategies you employed in the past that DID NOT WORK THEN EITHER? HOW THE HELL CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?
I knew a guy...I say knew because that guy is dead now, and while it does not serve him right, I will say that it served me with a good understanding of what it means to live with a sense of integrity. That guy used to sell his wares and did so with the idea that he would be able to make a run for it with his customer's money, and that dude decided not only to get mad at people when, after so many times they'd seen through his bullshit, actually blamed them for what he had taken advantage of. This is my best example for what happens when we take advantage of people and we have the option to NOT ...of course, you all know I told him...I told my departed father-in-law on many many more than only one occasion that just because he had the opportunity to do for himself what he knew was legal to, that just because it was legal, it did not make it right.
I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him to have died without making that Karmic debt right, at least through the idea that he could have called those people whose money he played with and that they ended up just more broke in the end because of. This guy did this as his general practice in business, and yes, sometimes, in his life as well. While I am sure that there were times that his intentions were right, the man always knew that he was not living nor operating his business as he should have, and his health suffered because of it. His health suffered to the point of no return, much like his son's health has done - all because they ...the both of them...when it came to money, they had no...NO conscience about it, and knowingly hurting people just because they know where you are coming from is one thing, but to knowingly know where they are coming from and knowing their story and still moving forward with the wrong set of intentions is just bad, bad juju...bad magic, if you will.
It turns out badly for all parties involved. My father in law never learned how to operate from the truth nor the middle of the soul of integrity, which, by my count, is where life and business are meant to meet. The same goes for healing from anything. If you are only willing to cover the pain with other things that will eventually hurt someone, you are not operating from integrity and that is just not okay.
Not just a sense of Integrity, but a very strong sense of Integrity is what is needed by us all
Listen up - if you are more willing to pander to the ego's sense of what is good, and if you are more willing to allow that you are not at fault because someone else has made a choice that benefits you but - and without their believing so - only takes from them ...I am sorry, that is not integrity. That is bullshit, and yes, I have the right and the experience to say so.
No one deserves, regardless of how they present themselves and more, just because they put it out there, to be used. No matter what, that shit comes back and it comes back with a vengeance. The things that we do not want others to know about us always ends up being well lit, and if we live with our Integrity fully intact we also reap the benefit of never having to explain ourselves to the people who mean the most to us. If we are more inclined to be the kind of person who is "everyone for themselves," then most assuredly we will also be on the receiving end of that energy whether we like it or believe it or not - that is just the way that karma rolls. And if you think that your Karma will not be affected because someone else just gave you what you think is free and available, then you have bigger issues than you are willing to confront. This is where the real fun begins...
The "real fun" ain't really fun at all...Karma is always a bigger bitch that I can be, than anyone can be...no, for real...auhea wale ana 'oe...seriously - PAY ATTENTION!! Yeesh !
The worst part is when someone is knowingly taking advantage of a situation and knowingly getting themselves into a position where they know that it is going to be harder than hell to extract themselves from, and that is when the damned soul stuff starts, because at that point that person will know that they themselves have put a big fat monumental DENT in their own Spirit and a dented Spirit is hard to heal from because not only are we healing from our own dents but we also have to heal from the dents that we placed onto other people. That sucks. The dents that we help put on other people comes in the thought form that even though we speak with our mouths, it is our actions which count the most because the truth is in the actions...and the words?
They become unreliable, because what is happening is the exchange of energies and I repeat myself always when I remind people that energy does NOT LIE! If you are aware of your own, then you should also be aware of the peoples' who you are dealing with, no matter if you are dealing with them wrong, or right. It doesn't matter. If you are willing to put yourselves into a position that makes it easy for a person to be taken advantage of, the wrong is yours, and theirs, because while you are saying one thing and even physically meaning one thing in the action-taken sense, while your side might be pure, the other person is confused as hell and yes, you had a lot of the energy that went into that.
If I am told one thing, and you show me something else in your actions, I may not know your thoughts, but I know mine. If mine are telling me that you said one thing and did the opposite, and if the thing in question is something that is very important to me, and I keep on going on, trusting your actions rather than your words, I promise you that you are going to hurt me. This is the same for everyone. If you are told one thing, and you are thinking that what you were told is the truth, and then you see the person who told you the thing do the EXACT opposite of it, and you know that it is going to be something very important to you, and you are hanging on to the energy, the hope that the other person's energies are not lying, you WILL get hurt, and won't that just suck some serious okole, right?
Right. And you know I am right.
The Very Real Sense of Disappointment
Along with the entirety of what you are doing to your own self and your own soul, you can really only imagine what you are doing to the other person's.
They will suffer real disappointment. They will believe that they did something very wrong. They will beat themselves up. They will return to the things that they have done prior to all the work that they have done. They will hurt. They will pine for whatever it was they thought they had. They will think that there is a way that they can fix whatever it is they are feeling, and the way that they will fix it is to revert back to the only way they know how to, and normally that is not the way that they want to but it is the only way that they can recall would be what would take the pain away, even if taking it away is temporary. The pain they will hurt from will be real to them, and the pain that you have caused them will also be real to you and will cause you a very real Karmic debt that, no matter what you say or do, will be repaid and there is nothing that you can do to stop it from happening. And you know already because I say it a whole lot - this is not my rule, but that of the Universe.
They will hurt. You will hurt. They will have guilt. You will have guilt, and if you don't, then you will be in for a seriously huge and ugly surprise when the Karmic debt calls to be repaid. No debt goes unpaid. Especially not the karmic kind. Somehow, Spirit always gets Hers. Always.
The things that you each, no matter how many souls are involved, whether it is 2 or 20,000, did, said, and thought will come flying back to you in large ugliness and you will be lost as to how you got to that point, and at that point is when the disappointment will set in. Once the disappointment sets in, there also comes with it the fact that all the work you have already done thus far will have to be done all over again, and the biggest disappointment?
You mean you don't know? Holy crap...
Holy CRAP !
The "Holy CRAP!" moment is not the moment that you knew you were doing things not exactly aligned with your greater purpose - nope. The holy crap moment is when you sit there, in your self-imposed ick, and realize that indeed it could all have been not even dealt with because you could have just taken the right option to begin with. Either way, whether you are the one offering the thing that is wrecking your integrity, or you were the one taking a horrible advantage of it, either way, there will be guilt, disappointment, anger and self-doubt. I say self-doubt because after all of the options you took end up not being the right ones for your life at that time, you will start to doubt your own ability to make the right decisions, not only for you, but for everyone. And that really is what having integrity is all about.
In business and in life lived, we must know for sure that we are operating always from the middle of the Soul. If we know that we are true in our own intentions, and we know that we are ready and able to take on the kuleana of the thing that we helped someone else being, feel like, whatever, and we know that we can do so without the idea, the leftovers in the back of our heads that we know we did a wrong thing, not so much to another person, but to our own selves and to our sense of integrity, this is when we know, too, that we can go ahead with what it is that we have opted to do.
When we know that the people involved are not completely whole, not healed and in need of some sort of guidance, and because of our own Ego's needs, we go forward with the thing that we KNOW is not the right thing, and we keep on giving ourselves our reason as to why our ego thinks it is fine to do, I am promising you NOW that it is not fine to do, and you know it is not fine to do, because if it were and you were totally okay with it, you would not bother to give a reason as to why it is okay with the other person. I am telling you that it is not okay. It is not okay to allow someone else to hurt and it is not okay to believe that what we are doing to, with, for them is okay, at least not ...NOT if we know the truth and the entirety of the situation which is obviously in your face for a reason, and the reason is totally not what you think.
So, with that said, to my global sisterhood...please...refrain from using your Soul as the thing that gets you ahead in life, and yes...you know what the hell I am telling you - your "Soul" ...and you bet your okole that your Soul is connected to that one thing that you keep on using as currency.
I have but one thing to ask you...are you fucking SERIOUS? What? You ain't worth more than pretty words, promises that it ain't gonna be what you want it to be?
Wow!! That's okay with you?
It would so not be okay with me, but I guess to each her own, right?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....
*sigh*
I Love You All...no matter what...
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved
Thursday, January 24, 2013
What if this person were your (fill in the blank)....
Auhea wale ana 'oe...please, pay attention...
This blog is not intended to be one which touts the benefits of feminism. No, this blog is about the human side of having a dream in life and having the desire to see it to fruition. With that said, I would like to address those in our midst who are in law enforcement, who wield the judge's gavel, who are meant to be the hero in the middle of the night. I am calling out to those who are in the position to shape young minds, and I am calling out to those very livelihoods depend on their ability to bring together creativity and knowledge at one time. I am calling out to those who work in the local hospital emergency rooms, and I call out to those of you whose livelihoods depend on a knowledge which is specialized and meant to be the salve of the wounds we all suffer, literally and figuratively.
I want you all to think about your own daughters, your own stepdaughters who are actually daughters which you were blessed with the gift of helping to raise. I want you all to think about their safety and what they see everyday in their own homes, and I want you all to think about the men who are influencing their young minds and lives and beliefs. I want you all to know that right now there is one of you whose daughter will become someone else's victim, and that someone else will live in the same home as her, might share children with her, and this person will have her safety in their hands. Now imagine that this person decides that he will control her subtly, at first, and then with full and forceful intention that she will obey him, or she will have to endure a bit of suffering, and yes, it can and has a great chance of getting physical. Now think about these things that your imagination are telling you are wrong, and think about the point at which your daughter came to you and told you that she was being abused...and now...think about the fact that if someone didn't prod her to go and tell someone the very moment she could no longer bear the emotional pain she suffered, let alone the constant fear of being in the very line of some other parent's kid's sight and is now his or her abuse victim, that no one would ever have known without getting the phone call from the ER, the sheriff's department, or worse than that, the coroner's office.
Think about it in terms of your own emotions, and how you recall her when she was a little girl and she was scared and how awful it was to hear her cry - about anything, so imagine this same child who is now older, and in some cases, still legally a minor, being afraid of someone who she has come to trust, and even though her fears shake her to her core, she still cannot imagine how this happened, and how it happened, or that it happened, and she cries because at this point, she believes that she is stuck. She makes excuses and then one day someone sees it, and it is bad, and she, your daughter, is now more afraid...because no matter what you tell her, she is going with him, not because she loves him and will take his abuse, at least that is not the reason anymore, but more, because she knows that one way or the other, she will be found, and when he finds her, he will coerce her family and they will buy it - they don't know better, and she goes, out of fear, not only for herself, but also for the people who she loves and depends on the most. Then imagine that she leaves and goes back and leaves and goes back, and it keeps happening, and her reason for staying is still the same - it is safety, not love, which compels her. (I Promise). Now, and you can say to yourselves, "No, we would NEVER do that, " but I promise that it happens, and did happen, yes, even to your loved ones. And you turn them away because you can no longer bear the pain yourself.
And this goes on, in some cases, for many years...far too many years, and it is all out of fear. It is scary when someone tells you that they are going to hurt you, and horribly terrifying when you think about the things that you have been through and seen and know, and you wonder how you made it this far without being put into the hospital for a while...you wonder. You wonder if you are ever going to be normal, because you know that what you go through is not normal because it feels like it is the very most opposite thing from normal.
While I will not elaborate about what else has happened in my own life, I will now make the call to everyone and anyone who is willing to read this, to share this and to pass it on, because there is always going to be someone who needs to know that everyday our daughters are being put into harm's way, and it is all for the Love that we are all meant to want in this lifetime. Yet Love is not meant to hurt or scare us. It hurts when we grow from it and hurts only for a little while, but this is a hurt that needs more attention paid to it. And it does not only affect teen girls and women, but also men, and that is the biggest hurt of all, because men are taught not to hit women, but they are not taught how to deal with abusive ones. This is the crying shame that is the reality of abuse, not just in this country, but seriously, this goes on everyday right in your own neighborhoods. If what I have shown you here makes you mad, then it will make you more mad to know that the laws are not adequate enough coverage if those who are meant to enforce them at all levels are only doing the barest minimum. If you are only going by the book and not getting creative with the power you hold and wield, and you are not doing what you can in order to not only make it more severe for the attackers than to make it less-scary for those who are being abused.
Please, I beg you, listen to the things that you are hearing and ask questions. The power of the words we use, and the power of the written word carry more weight than you know, and it is in the power that you hold in the lives of people in your community that can be of more and better service to those people who call your towns home. Our daughters already know that it is hard to be a kid, let alone a girl in the world, and really, for all of our toughness, we still need your help and we still need you to listen to us when we talk to you. We need you to know that it is hard for you all to imagine that when you leave us at the ER, the safehouse, our relatives, that these abusers are going to come and look for us, and that while your job with that victim is over with and the paperwork signed and attested to, that victim still has to return to that house to get her things, or his things, and they still have to depend on the words written on a piece of paper, which, even as it does what it is meant to for the most part, there is still always going to be that one person's daughter....
I was that one person's daughter. I was that minister's daughter who paid attention in church and got decent grades, had lots of friends and loved her life. Then one day this same girl had to grow up over night...
I had to.
My life depended on it.
It is not okay that domestic abuse still happens, and regardless if it is physical or emotional or both, we need to be more aware of these things and we need to know and believe that this is happening, but more than that, we also need, more than anything else, to believe that even though we might never stop it all from happening, we can, instead of making it less-scary, easier to help victims become survivors. I know what these people go through, because I am a survivor, and I am concerned that there are already too many people on this planet who would be able to say the very same thing.
Unfortunately, there are also as many, if not more, whose voices have been silenced by what they were told was the sacrifice we are expected to give for love.
I am pretty sure that dealing with the toilet paper roll not rolling out the paper the right way is a sacrifice. No one's life needs to end, no one's voice needs to be silenced in the name of sacrificing ourselves in the name of Love.
...but for real...
All of it...all true...
Please ....please pay attention...
Auhea wale ana 'oe....
I Love You All !
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved.
This blog is not intended to be one which touts the benefits of feminism. No, this blog is about the human side of having a dream in life and having the desire to see it to fruition. With that said, I would like to address those in our midst who are in law enforcement, who wield the judge's gavel, who are meant to be the hero in the middle of the night. I am calling out to those who are in the position to shape young minds, and I am calling out to those very livelihoods depend on their ability to bring together creativity and knowledge at one time. I am calling out to those who work in the local hospital emergency rooms, and I call out to those of you whose livelihoods depend on a knowledge which is specialized and meant to be the salve of the wounds we all suffer, literally and figuratively.
I want you all to think about your own daughters, your own stepdaughters who are actually daughters which you were blessed with the gift of helping to raise. I want you all to think about their safety and what they see everyday in their own homes, and I want you all to think about the men who are influencing their young minds and lives and beliefs. I want you all to know that right now there is one of you whose daughter will become someone else's victim, and that someone else will live in the same home as her, might share children with her, and this person will have her safety in their hands. Now imagine that this person decides that he will control her subtly, at first, and then with full and forceful intention that she will obey him, or she will have to endure a bit of suffering, and yes, it can and has a great chance of getting physical. Now think about these things that your imagination are telling you are wrong, and think about the point at which your daughter came to you and told you that she was being abused...and now...think about the fact that if someone didn't prod her to go and tell someone the very moment she could no longer bear the emotional pain she suffered, let alone the constant fear of being in the very line of some other parent's kid's sight and is now his or her abuse victim, that no one would ever have known without getting the phone call from the ER, the sheriff's department, or worse than that, the coroner's office.
Think about it in terms of your own emotions, and how you recall her when she was a little girl and she was scared and how awful it was to hear her cry - about anything, so imagine this same child who is now older, and in some cases, still legally a minor, being afraid of someone who she has come to trust, and even though her fears shake her to her core, she still cannot imagine how this happened, and how it happened, or that it happened, and she cries because at this point, she believes that she is stuck. She makes excuses and then one day someone sees it, and it is bad, and she, your daughter, is now more afraid...because no matter what you tell her, she is going with him, not because she loves him and will take his abuse, at least that is not the reason anymore, but more, because she knows that one way or the other, she will be found, and when he finds her, he will coerce her family and they will buy it - they don't know better, and she goes, out of fear, not only for herself, but also for the people who she loves and depends on the most. Then imagine that she leaves and goes back and leaves and goes back, and it keeps happening, and her reason for staying is still the same - it is safety, not love, which compels her. (I Promise). Now, and you can say to yourselves, "No, we would NEVER do that, " but I promise that it happens, and did happen, yes, even to your loved ones. And you turn them away because you can no longer bear the pain yourself.
And this goes on, in some cases, for many years...far too many years, and it is all out of fear. It is scary when someone tells you that they are going to hurt you, and horribly terrifying when you think about the things that you have been through and seen and know, and you wonder how you made it this far without being put into the hospital for a while...you wonder. You wonder if you are ever going to be normal, because you know that what you go through is not normal because it feels like it is the very most opposite thing from normal.
While I will not elaborate about what else has happened in my own life, I will now make the call to everyone and anyone who is willing to read this, to share this and to pass it on, because there is always going to be someone who needs to know that everyday our daughters are being put into harm's way, and it is all for the Love that we are all meant to want in this lifetime. Yet Love is not meant to hurt or scare us. It hurts when we grow from it and hurts only for a little while, but this is a hurt that needs more attention paid to it. And it does not only affect teen girls and women, but also men, and that is the biggest hurt of all, because men are taught not to hit women, but they are not taught how to deal with abusive ones. This is the crying shame that is the reality of abuse, not just in this country, but seriously, this goes on everyday right in your own neighborhoods. If what I have shown you here makes you mad, then it will make you more mad to know that the laws are not adequate enough coverage if those who are meant to enforce them at all levels are only doing the barest minimum. If you are only going by the book and not getting creative with the power you hold and wield, and you are not doing what you can in order to not only make it more severe for the attackers than to make it less-scary for those who are being abused.
Please, I beg you, listen to the things that you are hearing and ask questions. The power of the words we use, and the power of the written word carry more weight than you know, and it is in the power that you hold in the lives of people in your community that can be of more and better service to those people who call your towns home. Our daughters already know that it is hard to be a kid, let alone a girl in the world, and really, for all of our toughness, we still need your help and we still need you to listen to us when we talk to you. We need you to know that it is hard for you all to imagine that when you leave us at the ER, the safehouse, our relatives, that these abusers are going to come and look for us, and that while your job with that victim is over with and the paperwork signed and attested to, that victim still has to return to that house to get her things, or his things, and they still have to depend on the words written on a piece of paper, which, even as it does what it is meant to for the most part, there is still always going to be that one person's daughter....
I was that one person's daughter. I was that minister's daughter who paid attention in church and got decent grades, had lots of friends and loved her life. Then one day this same girl had to grow up over night...
I had to.
My life depended on it.
It is not okay that domestic abuse still happens, and regardless if it is physical or emotional or both, we need to be more aware of these things and we need to know and believe that this is happening, but more than that, we also need, more than anything else, to believe that even though we might never stop it all from happening, we can, instead of making it less-scary, easier to help victims become survivors. I know what these people go through, because I am a survivor, and I am concerned that there are already too many people on this planet who would be able to say the very same thing.
Unfortunately, there are also as many, if not more, whose voices have been silenced by what they were told was the sacrifice we are expected to give for love.
I am pretty sure that dealing with the toilet paper roll not rolling out the paper the right way is a sacrifice. No one's life needs to end, no one's voice needs to be silenced in the name of sacrificing ourselves in the name of Love.
...but for real...
All of it...all true...
Please ....please pay attention...
Auhea wale ana 'oe....
I Love You All !
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Not a Chapter, but a Brand New Book
There comes a time...
There comes a time in everyone's lives when they know that the crossroad is right in front of them and now they must take one of the options which is there - to proceed and go forward with a new Life, or to remain and stay with the Life we know right now. I opted for the new Life.
Welcome to this new book...to hell with a chapter. "Chapter" denotes that it is the same book and that the story is still the same story. I am a writer. I have written several books. And this new "book" is called the second half of Life for me. It is the same second half for many of us. However, there are some who are reading this who are no where near the second half. All good...new books are written all the time, and just like I opted for the new story and the new book, so can you.
This blog used to detail the many emotions that all abuse victims deal with. Then it became the soapbox upon which I would hurl my vitriol to the world. ... but no more...no more vitriol, as the world is no longer in need of yet one more venomous person.
This Blog
This blog is meant to be seen as the thing that makes us all know our own greatness by being able to see the greatness of others. In my own life I have watched many people go from "in manifest" to "in reality," and these are the very people whose Fire in the Belly is the largest, even as their means to get to where they have arrived thus far were primitive in some cases, and in every case there was the spark of the flames that were stoked with the very compassion within them, through their own Fire, their own losses, their own detours, their own options and heartaches that they turned into the greatness that is sparked by the things that break our hearts, that take from us the things that make the very most sense of all, and for the most part, were left, or so they thought, with the shell of the reality of who they are. Little did they realize that the things they have experienced was the Fire of Spirit refining them so that they may shine brightly like diamonds, might be able to wade through the ocean of uncertainty and come to the surface brand new.
This blog is about personal power, is about taking the glimpse of Heaven that comes with the visions of hell on earth and turning them all into our own personal power items.
Personal Power Items
I am a minister....Kahuna Ali'i Wahine in manifest, if you will, and I know the meaning of the energy behind each of my own Items of Power. Included in this collection of personal oddities are many sea shells, crystals, and trinkets ...even golf cart keys....regardless of what each of them symbolizes to anyone, they are each special to me. Each item did not end up as mine without its own personal cost... beliefs I'd held for far too long, Truths about me that were not mine, and things that symbolized the Path upon which I trek at the moment, and at the moment the Path which I trek is a storied one. It is filled with tragedy and heartache, and as much, triumph, magic and Truth. It is these intangible things that make the tangible things mean that much more to me. They are indicative of the power that lies within me and me alone that is the Power and the Magic and more than that, the Miracle that is Me.
These personal power items are not meant to be magical talismans, and their magic is only held by me and in my own thoughts and my own inclinations. Their magic is the magic that I have put forth into my own growth and my own life so as to have them as a constant reminder of who I am and who I have always been, even and especially when who I am and what I am is in manifest. And the truth is that we are all "in manifest," all on our way to being all who we are all the time. That alone is magical in and of itself.
The purpose of this blog...
That is easy - the purpose of this blog is to fan the flames of change and the inspiration to seek your dreams in a big fat way, to bring about the spark needed by us all to look within ourselves and see there that there is indeed something there that we need to give to the world as the gift that we can only give. It may be that you want to do something with your life that is meaningful, and my mission with this blog is to help you never to lose that desire, because it is in the desire and the intention that we have in each of us that compels us to do greater things in the world and to be the end result of Spirit's refinement of who we are after having walked barefoot over the coals and through the Fires of Life.
The Fires of Life are those things that make us feel our soul as it bleeds out the pain. The Fires of Life are those times when we cannot bring ourselves to believe that the thing that has happened in our lives has happened, and while it might appear that there is no hope, if we bother to look at the thing that seems to be eating our lives from another angle we find that it has a new appearance. We find that there is another way to deal with it. We find that the Fire was not without reason and we find, ultimately, the spark and the intention and the desire, not only to also find that healing right there where we left the pain, but also, our very Selves.
My Own Fire
I did not come to this place of forgiveness, of being able to look at a thing from another angle without help. I had help, and without the help...yes, I would still have gotten here where I am now in this time in my life, but the Path would have been a lonely one, to say the least. It is not an easy Path, to heal one's self, and it is not an easy trek, the trek to Wholeness, but it is well worth all the slings and all the arrows and all of the everything that I went through just to be able to sit here, no longer in my Jesus Christ Pose, but more, in my own Light and my Own Soul and most of all, My Own Self.
My story is simple. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse, and rather than sit in my pool of pity I chose, this time, to do things the way that I am supposed to - I opted to go through the Fire...to get counseling, reach out, make friends, tell my story to others...and in the year that has passed I have found many things within me that I knew were there but that I was too afraid to let the world see. I was scared to let the world see that I am smart, afraid because for a long time I equated "smart" with "intimidating," and the two are no where near being the same thing. For many years I felt that what I had to offer the world was not good enough for human beings to know about, but then my thoughts changed when new people showed up and told me that I was wrong about being wrong about me. These new people ...some of them not "new" but in a sense they were, at least to me, because of the time that had passed....told me that I was wrong, that I am truly magnificent and that I have so much to offer the world and that I really needed to let that light shine through because my end of the world needed to not be so dark and scary and that yes, I was just the very person whose Light was brilliant enough to not only share, but also to help others become empowered by it.
My own story is like any other abuse survivor's is, but the end is not the same, because I am writing the rest of it as the days go by. I would never have imagined in a million years that I would write books and inspire the masses with my words. I would never have thought for one moment that it was my gift, the Aloha within me, to give to the people in my world, so that they might have that moment in their own lives where suddenly the pain makes a little bit of sense and now since they have seen their own story through the Light of another they too can go on out into the world and live their own version of the Prayer of Jabez.
Jabez translates, sort of, to "pain, sorrow," and biblically, the Prayer of Jabez tells us that Jabez told God that he would like it if Spirit blessed him and to enlarge his territory, meaning that he needed God to bless him with the means by which he would be able to go out into the world and do his Jabez thing, and that is what this blog is all about - gettin' out there in the world and livin' out your own Prayer of Jabez. The Prayer of Jabez, at least and since it is that I am translating it and giving it to you all in the "N.A.T." (New Age Translation), our Jabez Prayer is in the book of 1 Chronicles, verses 9 and 10..." ...we are more honorable than many others, and since it is that we, like Jabez, were brought through pain borne by our mothers, we can look to Spirit and say "I thank You, Great Spirit, for blessing my Life, for enlarging my Tribe! Please Guide Me and continue to keep me out of harm's way so that I may go out into Life and Share my part of its goodness..." and Spirit heard and blessed the Child..."
My own story caused me to want to reach out, to want to heal, to want to know what it was and still is that makes me be the person who I am, and more, makes me be all who I am, all the time. This is not just me telling you all that you can do anything that you want to do with your life, but that you can do anything that you want to do with your life and that yes - you can do it big and grand and large and call it yours...and that is my aim with this blog. I want you to see and to read with your own eyes about the amazing nature of the Human Spirit when it is coupled with the Soul of Love and the intention of going out into the world and being amazing people. I want you all to realize through recognition that all things are possible if we allow them to be and that everything that you see and sense in your head is the truth of you and that if it is an ugliness of truth that you have the option to change that Truth and make it something conducive, not only to your life path, but more, your own Soul's purpose.
My own Soul's Purpose
When I walked the walk of the Firedancer and slowly prodded over the proverbial coals, I had no clue that it would be the start of my Life. That was almost 5 years ago and 5 years ago I was not this person. I mean, I was, physically, but I have walked dearly many times over the hot coals, danced through the Fires of my own life, through the abuse, through the losses of all things material and most of the people who were such a large part of my life during the acquisition of those things. I would not change one thing about the things that I have gone through, because without those heart aches and without all the uglies and the things that made me cry so many tears, without all the shame caused by victimization, and without having experienced the things that I did, I might not be here to tell you that daily I see the flip side of that pain, and that daily I am granted yet one more chance, through the people who come to me for guidance, for the soothing of the pains and the fires of their own lives, one more chance to stand in front of a group of people telling them that there needs to be change and that no one deserves to be another person's victim...
This is my life now. This is the life that, through those Fires and all those tears, I now live. While I might, to those who spend their time with me and who are a dear part of my Tribe, be all the rock and roll snarky chick they all know and Love (I Love You Guys, too...and you all know who you are), they also all know that my greatest wish in life is not that I realize all my materially tangible dreams, but more, that they also do. They know that if they are seeing the fruits of their own Fire Walk, that they are now on the other side of the hill. They know that there are always going to be Fires in Life, always going to be that opportunity to walk the Flames and Coals again, and now they also know that it is the very Fire upon which we each walk that makes us Shiny, refined and brilliant, like Platinum when the light hits it just at the right angle.
My job as a minister has, through the Fires, allowed me to branch off into other areas of ministry, including Speaking Publicly to those in official position, telling them my own story and how more needs to be paid attention to when they are called to do what they are tasked with as law enforcement, telling them that they need really to not tell an abuse victim that they can just leave, because just that alone can get a person killed....there is so much that a whole lot of people just do not know, and yes, I know that at least in my own Life, I am just the Chick who is meant to tell them that there is so much they do not know and so much more that they can do and that truly, all they need to do is view it all from a different angle...
All True.
Now, I am willing to bet that there is at least one person reading this who has their own stories of days walking the line, of the heart burning and the very Bones of the Soul alive and well with the flame of intention, of Love and of things that only one person is meant to be the thing that ignites the Fire in the Belly....
Betcha I'm right....and I am betting, too, that you now are more willing than ever to not see those Fires of Life as just one more reason to pitch a bitch...I bet now you can see the endlessness of who you really are, all in the reflection of the pain borne by you as you go through the Fire of your Life....
Aloha!
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved.
There comes a time in everyone's lives when they know that the crossroad is right in front of them and now they must take one of the options which is there - to proceed and go forward with a new Life, or to remain and stay with the Life we know right now. I opted for the new Life.
Welcome to this new book...to hell with a chapter. "Chapter" denotes that it is the same book and that the story is still the same story. I am a writer. I have written several books. And this new "book" is called the second half of Life for me. It is the same second half for many of us. However, there are some who are reading this who are no where near the second half. All good...new books are written all the time, and just like I opted for the new story and the new book, so can you.
This blog used to detail the many emotions that all abuse victims deal with. Then it became the soapbox upon which I would hurl my vitriol to the world. ... but no more...no more vitriol, as the world is no longer in need of yet one more venomous person.
This Blog
This blog is meant to be seen as the thing that makes us all know our own greatness by being able to see the greatness of others. In my own life I have watched many people go from "in manifest" to "in reality," and these are the very people whose Fire in the Belly is the largest, even as their means to get to where they have arrived thus far were primitive in some cases, and in every case there was the spark of the flames that were stoked with the very compassion within them, through their own Fire, their own losses, their own detours, their own options and heartaches that they turned into the greatness that is sparked by the things that break our hearts, that take from us the things that make the very most sense of all, and for the most part, were left, or so they thought, with the shell of the reality of who they are. Little did they realize that the things they have experienced was the Fire of Spirit refining them so that they may shine brightly like diamonds, might be able to wade through the ocean of uncertainty and come to the surface brand new.
This blog is about personal power, is about taking the glimpse of Heaven that comes with the visions of hell on earth and turning them all into our own personal power items.
Personal Power Items
I am a minister....Kahuna Ali'i Wahine in manifest, if you will, and I know the meaning of the energy behind each of my own Items of Power. Included in this collection of personal oddities are many sea shells, crystals, and trinkets ...even golf cart keys....regardless of what each of them symbolizes to anyone, they are each special to me. Each item did not end up as mine without its own personal cost... beliefs I'd held for far too long, Truths about me that were not mine, and things that symbolized the Path upon which I trek at the moment, and at the moment the Path which I trek is a storied one. It is filled with tragedy and heartache, and as much, triumph, magic and Truth. It is these intangible things that make the tangible things mean that much more to me. They are indicative of the power that lies within me and me alone that is the Power and the Magic and more than that, the Miracle that is Me.
These personal power items are not meant to be magical talismans, and their magic is only held by me and in my own thoughts and my own inclinations. Their magic is the magic that I have put forth into my own growth and my own life so as to have them as a constant reminder of who I am and who I have always been, even and especially when who I am and what I am is in manifest. And the truth is that we are all "in manifest," all on our way to being all who we are all the time. That alone is magical in and of itself.
The purpose of this blog...
That is easy - the purpose of this blog is to fan the flames of change and the inspiration to seek your dreams in a big fat way, to bring about the spark needed by us all to look within ourselves and see there that there is indeed something there that we need to give to the world as the gift that we can only give. It may be that you want to do something with your life that is meaningful, and my mission with this blog is to help you never to lose that desire, because it is in the desire and the intention that we have in each of us that compels us to do greater things in the world and to be the end result of Spirit's refinement of who we are after having walked barefoot over the coals and through the Fires of Life.
The Fires of Life are those things that make us feel our soul as it bleeds out the pain. The Fires of Life are those times when we cannot bring ourselves to believe that the thing that has happened in our lives has happened, and while it might appear that there is no hope, if we bother to look at the thing that seems to be eating our lives from another angle we find that it has a new appearance. We find that there is another way to deal with it. We find that the Fire was not without reason and we find, ultimately, the spark and the intention and the desire, not only to also find that healing right there where we left the pain, but also, our very Selves.
My Own Fire
I did not come to this place of forgiveness, of being able to look at a thing from another angle without help. I had help, and without the help...yes, I would still have gotten here where I am now in this time in my life, but the Path would have been a lonely one, to say the least. It is not an easy Path, to heal one's self, and it is not an easy trek, the trek to Wholeness, but it is well worth all the slings and all the arrows and all of the everything that I went through just to be able to sit here, no longer in my Jesus Christ Pose, but more, in my own Light and my Own Soul and most of all, My Own Self.
My story is simple. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse, and rather than sit in my pool of pity I chose, this time, to do things the way that I am supposed to - I opted to go through the Fire...to get counseling, reach out, make friends, tell my story to others...and in the year that has passed I have found many things within me that I knew were there but that I was too afraid to let the world see. I was scared to let the world see that I am smart, afraid because for a long time I equated "smart" with "intimidating," and the two are no where near being the same thing. For many years I felt that what I had to offer the world was not good enough for human beings to know about, but then my thoughts changed when new people showed up and told me that I was wrong about being wrong about me. These new people ...some of them not "new" but in a sense they were, at least to me, because of the time that had passed....told me that I was wrong, that I am truly magnificent and that I have so much to offer the world and that I really needed to let that light shine through because my end of the world needed to not be so dark and scary and that yes, I was just the very person whose Light was brilliant enough to not only share, but also to help others become empowered by it.
My own story is like any other abuse survivor's is, but the end is not the same, because I am writing the rest of it as the days go by. I would never have imagined in a million years that I would write books and inspire the masses with my words. I would never have thought for one moment that it was my gift, the Aloha within me, to give to the people in my world, so that they might have that moment in their own lives where suddenly the pain makes a little bit of sense and now since they have seen their own story through the Light of another they too can go on out into the world and live their own version of the Prayer of Jabez.
Jabez translates, sort of, to "pain, sorrow," and biblically, the Prayer of Jabez tells us that Jabez told God that he would like it if Spirit blessed him and to enlarge his territory, meaning that he needed God to bless him with the means by which he would be able to go out into the world and do his Jabez thing, and that is what this blog is all about - gettin' out there in the world and livin' out your own Prayer of Jabez. The Prayer of Jabez, at least and since it is that I am translating it and giving it to you all in the "N.A.T." (New Age Translation), our Jabez Prayer is in the book of 1 Chronicles, verses 9 and 10..." ...we are more honorable than many others, and since it is that we, like Jabez, were brought through pain borne by our mothers, we can look to Spirit and say "I thank You, Great Spirit, for blessing my Life, for enlarging my Tribe! Please Guide Me and continue to keep me out of harm's way so that I may go out into Life and Share my part of its goodness..." and Spirit heard and blessed the Child..."
My own story caused me to want to reach out, to want to heal, to want to know what it was and still is that makes me be the person who I am, and more, makes me be all who I am, all the time. This is not just me telling you all that you can do anything that you want to do with your life, but that you can do anything that you want to do with your life and that yes - you can do it big and grand and large and call it yours...and that is my aim with this blog. I want you to see and to read with your own eyes about the amazing nature of the Human Spirit when it is coupled with the Soul of Love and the intention of going out into the world and being amazing people. I want you all to realize through recognition that all things are possible if we allow them to be and that everything that you see and sense in your head is the truth of you and that if it is an ugliness of truth that you have the option to change that Truth and make it something conducive, not only to your life path, but more, your own Soul's purpose.
My own Soul's Purpose
When I walked the walk of the Firedancer and slowly prodded over the proverbial coals, I had no clue that it would be the start of my Life. That was almost 5 years ago and 5 years ago I was not this person. I mean, I was, physically, but I have walked dearly many times over the hot coals, danced through the Fires of my own life, through the abuse, through the losses of all things material and most of the people who were such a large part of my life during the acquisition of those things. I would not change one thing about the things that I have gone through, because without those heart aches and without all the uglies and the things that made me cry so many tears, without all the shame caused by victimization, and without having experienced the things that I did, I might not be here to tell you that daily I see the flip side of that pain, and that daily I am granted yet one more chance, through the people who come to me for guidance, for the soothing of the pains and the fires of their own lives, one more chance to stand in front of a group of people telling them that there needs to be change and that no one deserves to be another person's victim...
This is my life now. This is the life that, through those Fires and all those tears, I now live. While I might, to those who spend their time with me and who are a dear part of my Tribe, be all the rock and roll snarky chick they all know and Love (I Love You Guys, too...and you all know who you are), they also all know that my greatest wish in life is not that I realize all my materially tangible dreams, but more, that they also do. They know that if they are seeing the fruits of their own Fire Walk, that they are now on the other side of the hill. They know that there are always going to be Fires in Life, always going to be that opportunity to walk the Flames and Coals again, and now they also know that it is the very Fire upon which we each walk that makes us Shiny, refined and brilliant, like Platinum when the light hits it just at the right angle.
My job as a minister has, through the Fires, allowed me to branch off into other areas of ministry, including Speaking Publicly to those in official position, telling them my own story and how more needs to be paid attention to when they are called to do what they are tasked with as law enforcement, telling them that they need really to not tell an abuse victim that they can just leave, because just that alone can get a person killed....there is so much that a whole lot of people just do not know, and yes, I know that at least in my own Life, I am just the Chick who is meant to tell them that there is so much they do not know and so much more that they can do and that truly, all they need to do is view it all from a different angle...
All True.
Now, I am willing to bet that there is at least one person reading this who has their own stories of days walking the line, of the heart burning and the very Bones of the Soul alive and well with the flame of intention, of Love and of things that only one person is meant to be the thing that ignites the Fire in the Belly....
Betcha I'm right....and I am betting, too, that you now are more willing than ever to not see those Fires of Life as just one more reason to pitch a bitch...I bet now you can see the endlessness of who you really are, all in the reflection of the pain borne by you as you go through the Fire of your Life....
Aloha!
ROX
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved.
Petals of the R.O.S.E.
(an absolute must for teachers of Spirit)
My dear friend, Cynthia Occelli...Goddess Extraordinaire !! Buy Her Book!
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