I have been at a loss for words as of late. MANY new things have happened, and those many new things have caused me to revert, but revert in a manner which reminds me of what I am here for.
I am here to do the work that my Soul intended to do, period. Lately we have all been on this ...drama train...and it is time to get off already - off of the idea and the habit that what we do is who we are. This is the lie we are told from a young age, a lie that the masses have just bought into because it is the job they go to everyday which demands it. Yet, that job we go to each and everyday is not the entirety of us. In fact, that job that we each go to, at least for some of us, is meant as something of a catalyst for greater things to happen for us and those who we Love.
My Soul is Tired of just sittin' around and wondering
I am not the only one who this is the truth of. I like to tell people that "I have ten job, mon," and today, that changed. Today, while I was sitting here writing something else that I didn't really have the words for, I thought about the one thing that I love so much, that I have always loved, that I will leave this consciousness having used it as a vehicle for ministry, as a vehicle for healing, much as I have always done. Yes, I am talking about my dizzying, almost sickening love for Hula. Hula has been a part of my life for the last 40 years. I have been a student, a teacher, an admirer of this beautiful art form from the time I was 3 years old, and it never left me. The very idea of my life NOT including hula in some way is not even thinkable, can never be the truth of me because as long as I live and I breathe, there will always be this dance in my life. So long as I live and breathe, so, too, shall this art form, Hula, also live and also breathe.
But Hula is not what I am talking about, at least not for the entirety of us. For some of us their hula is sports, and while others, art, and for many, many more, music, and it is held within these activities, the seeds that we must plant, not for the benefit of others, but for our own benefit. The thing that I am talking about is that one thing that makes you Love You. I Love Me because I Am Me, and it took other people to show me these things. There are lots of people who are crying at the moment, and I am sure that I will shed a few tears myself here soon. I am weary. I miss my Hula, the dancing part of it, the group dancing part of it. I miss sharing it and giving it, and I miss it being one part of my Soul that is the Heart of me. It is like any other hobby is for anyone else. Some play music. Some play sports. Some draw or paint, train animals, ride dirtbikes, shoot guns, grow gardens...these things that we each do...right now is when we should be doing them. Right now.
I think my point today is that what we used to do for fun we have been told we should forget about because it cannot be done for profit. For a long time I was told that hula was not a good idea because the money was not that great, and for a long time I believed that lie, or at least my ego believed it, and for a long time I did not have a class to teach, and for a long time I was sad even though I did not realize that I was sad. I was sad because I turned my beautiful dance into something that it should not have ever been. I turned my love of my culture, my deep seated pride in who I am into a profit thing, and for as long a time, I danced alone.
I learned that I needed to choose what it was that I loved to do for pay versus what I love to do for me. There are MANY things, many people who I love and work a whole lot with, and those things that I do are for profit. While the profit margin might not be great at the moment, it is in manifest. We all know this, that it is in manifest, and we are all in a concerted effort, all of us, singly but together, to build this alliance meant to bring music to the masses, and we are doing a great job at it. Yet in the excitement that is the newness of the beginning of something so big and so phenomenal, we were all going at full speed and not one of us thought for a moment that we would eventually have to come back to the other stuff that is equally as important as is this music stuff that we all so very much Love. I can know that as a dancer, while I can dance to the beat of the shimmying that is the song of an unbalanced laundry load, there is nothing quite as sweet as the very tiny silence that comes between the notes of a song.
It is in the silence that we find our own golden nature, and the silence where we anticipate that next beat. It is in the silence that is the treasure of fully being in the moment, and for that one very moment, Living and breathing and Loving Life and Loving Your Own Life and going back one year to the date and thinking about just how much is so, so different now than it was just one year ago today. And then, when the next note hits your ears, it is a golden moment, because now you are thinking back or maybe thinking still about not answering "what if?" but "why not?" and the music plays on and on....
I thought about it today, as I did some stuff for everything that I do, and talked and texted and chatted with all the people who I teach ways of Spirit, then the people whose music I help get heard, then the photographers, the other writers, and then when I thought about the people who I have danced hula with, it was good. For some it was the chance to see what it was all about, and for others it was another way to get in shape, and for the rest of us it was a way to connect with our shared Na Mamo heritage...
....and for us all it was just...cool. It was just cool. Hey guys...I Know that the ENTIRETY of the planet is on this ...high...this great high vibration of energy that is Peace and Joy and of course, of Love.
When getting your groove back in the world, and while setting down roots in the lives of the people who we each birth new things and work together to bring to life this vision that is shared, we must remember, too, that while these are all marks of similar souls coming together to work in unison and with the Spirit of Lokahi, there is that part of each of us that is begging to be seen, to be remembered and most of all, begging to Know who it is again.
So, hey...yeah...come out and play...
I Love You All!
Aloha Oukou
ROX!
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, "Corporate Soul Coaching" or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
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